Division of Labour/Balance of Power?

Rissask · 04-13-2011

After 'hotly debating' this topic for the bazillionth time with my husband yesterday, I thought, why not ask the PI peeps how it works in their house?

Who does most of the chores/cooking/cleaning/laundry/gardening/maintenance, etc. in your home?

We both work full time, gone from 8.5 hours a day (him) to ten hours a day (me). No kids. The THEORY is we are supposed to split everything 50/50...good theory, sure- but in practice I do about 75% of everything.

His response is that my standards are too high.

Which is definitely true, they are higher than his. A common problem, I am sure.

And how do you split things- in our house he does his own laundry (but never sheets or towels, nooo, the towel fairy does those, I guess!

), vaccuums (not often enough for my liking), takes out the garbage, and half the cooking.

Not bad, really, I can't complain.

He is a pretty neat and clean guy (just not as clean I am!). Yesterday he just annoyed me because I asked him to help me clean, he agreed...I asked him to clean the hardwood on the main floor -and he vacuumed for ten minutes, not moving any furniture, then sat down.

So I had to re-do it properly and Swiffer, etc. Standards!

horizon200 · 04-13-2011

50/50...I dirty the laundry and dishes, she cleans them!

beer_dude · 04-13-2011

We do 50/50 usually. Actually it's more like 60/40 because I am not working. The towel fairy does the sheets/towels/bedding etc. I do the grocery shopping. The wife cleans the bathrooms because I refuse to. I do all maintenance activities including lawn care, home repair etc. If the wife want's it really really clean, she does it because men aren't capable of really really clean.

P.S. 50/50 includes cooking.

minnjim · 04-13-2011

I do about 70% of the cooking. She does about 70% of the cleanup.
She does 98% of the laundry. I iron my own stuff.
She does about 75% of the cleaning.
She does about 70% of the mowing, since she's a teacher and is home for the summer. (our lawn takes about 5 hours to mow). After school starts I do about 90% of the mowing.
I get some extra credit for doing the snow shoveling, wood hauling, splittiing, stacking, building the fire and hauling the ashes.

Rissask · 04-13-2011

Quote:

Originally Posted by horizon200

50/50...I dirty the laundry and dishes, she cleans them!

ahhh...you are 'one of those' men.... I didn't think they made you guys anymore!

Quote:

Originally Posted by beer_dude

We do 50/50 usually. Actually it's more like 60/40 because I am not working. The towel fairy does the sheets/towels/bedding etc. I do the grocery shopping. The wife cleans the bathrooms because I refuse to. I do all maintenance activities including lawn care, home repair etc. If the wife want's it really really clean, she does it because men aren't capable of really really clean.

P.S. 50/50 includes cooking.

We have a running joke about the towel fairy.

(That is another thing- guess who ends up buying anything decor or house related out of her spending money? hmmm

. Actually that is not a big deal, as he buys 'outdoor' stuff like grills and lawnmowers, and we share the cost of furniture or other big ticket items.)

Hey! When i was unemployed for a year, I did 100% of everything....I actually think that was a big mistake, as it's been like pulling teeth to get him to do more ever since. He is getting better though.

beer_dude · 04-13-2011

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rissask

ahhh...you are 'one of those' men.... I didn't think they made you guys anymore!

We have a running joke about the towel fairy.

(That is another thing- guess who ends up buying anything decor or house related out of her spending money? hmmm

. Actually that is not a big deal, as he buys 'outdoor' stuff like grills and lawnmowers, and we share the cost of furniture or other big ticket items.)

Hey! When i was unemployed for a year, I did 100% of everything....I actually think that was a big mistake, as it's been like pulling teeth to get him to do more ever since. He is getting better though.

Hmmm, If I did 100% of everything I would never have to go back to work! Oh, there's that really really clean thing.

horizon200 · 04-13-2011

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rissask

ahhh...you are 'one of those' men.... I didn't think they made you guys anymore!

Oh yeah! I wear the pants in my family...an I have her permission to say so!

Just don't tell her I said so!

Rissask · 04-13-2011

Quote:

Originally Posted by minnjim

I do about 70% of the cooking. She does about 70% of the cleanup.
She does 98% of the laundry. I iron my own stuff.
She does about 75% of the cleaning.
She does about 70% of the mowing, since she's a teacher and is home for the summer. (our lawn takes about 5 hours to mow). After school starts I do about 90% of the mowing.
I get some extra credit for doing the snow shoveling, wood hauling, splittiing, stacking, building the fire and hauling the ashes.

ironing???

Actually, that is funny, if there is anything to iron, Don usually does it. But we rarely iron anything.

I somehow end up doing the snow shovelling and lawn mowing too often....this time of year always annoys me since I do ALL the gardening and then often the mowing too.....grrrr.

Rissask · 04-13-2011

Quote:

Originally Posted by beer_dude

Hmmm, If I did 100% of everything I would never have to go back to work! Oh, there's that really really clean thing.

I tried that tack....didn't work.

Quote:

Originally Posted by horizon200

Oh yeah! I wear the pants in my family...an I have her permission to say so!

Just don't tell her I said so!

beer_dude · 04-13-2011

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rissask

ironing???

Actually, that is funny, if there is anything to iron, Don usually does it. But we rarely iron anything.

I somehow end up doing the snow shovelling and lawn mowing too often....this time of year always annoys me since I do ALL the gardening and then often the mowing too.....grrrr.

Ironing? Does anybody do that anymore?

snappysammy · 04-13-2011

Quote:

Originally Posted by beer_dude

Ironing? Does anybody do that anymore?

i iron my own shirts, don't like going out in wrinkled shirts
ironing is very relaxing

roni · 04-13-2011

Quote:

Originally Posted by snappysammy

i iron my own shirts, don't like going out in wrinkled shirts
ironing is very relaxing

Me too, and my pants if they are wrinkled

Luv2Dance · 04-13-2011

Wrinkle Release setting on our dryer is AWESOME!!! Throw a moist washcloth in with your clothes and BOOM.....wrinkles are gone.

I grocery shop, cook and do dishes. We share laundry. I usually clean. Mikey helps at times though. He takes care of our plants. I have a black thumb.

roni · 04-13-2011

I do almost all of the laundry, a lot of cooking and kitchen straighten-up. I do most of the vacuuming.

Kathy does deep-cleaning. She does bathrooms. She does the flower gardens. I mow grass.

She is looking forward to moving and having a part-time person do the bathrooms and other heavy cleaning.

Oh, Kathy is semi-retired, I am not.

minnjim · 04-13-2011

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rissask

(That is another thing- guess who ends up buying anything decor or house related out of her spending money?

We don't have "his money" or "her money".
We only have "our" money.

04-13-2011	#1 (permalink)
Rissask Canada Dry Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 49,566	Division of Labour/Balance of Power? After 'hotly debating' this topic for the bazillionth time with my husband yesterday, I thought, why not ask the PI peeps how it works in their house? Who does most of the chores/cooking/cleaning/laundry/gardening/maintenance, etc. in your home? We both work full time, gone from 8.5 hours a day (him) to ten hours a day (me). No kids. The THEORY is we are supposed to split everything 50/50...good theory, sure- but in practice I do about 75% of everything. His response is that my standards are too high. Which is definitely true, they are higher than his. A common problem, I am sure. And how do you split things- in our house he does his own laundry (but never sheets or towels, nooo, the towel fairy does those, I guess! ), vaccuums (not often enough for my liking), takes out the garbage, and half the cooking. Not bad, really, I can't complain. He is a pretty neat and clean guy (just not as clean I am!). Yesterday he just annoyed me because I asked him to help me clean, he agreed...I asked him to clean the hardwood on the main floor -and he vacuumed for ten minutes, not moving any furniture, then sat down. So I had to re-do it properly and Swiffer, etc. Standards!

04-13-2011	#2 (permalink)
horizon200 añejo Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Delaware Posts: 10,409	50/50...I dirty the laundry and dishes, she cleans them!

04-13-2011	#3 (permalink)
beer_dude añejo Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Colorado Posts: 3,190	We do 50/50 usually. Actually it's more like 60/40 because I am not working. The towel fairy does the sheets/towels/bedding etc. I do the grocery shopping. The wife cleans the bathrooms because I refuse to. I do all maintenance activities including lawn care, home repair etc. If the wife want's it really really clean, she does it because men aren't capable of really really clean. P.S. 50/50 includes cooking.

04-13-2011	#4 (permalink)
minnjim añejo Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: THE Minnesota Posts: 2,164	I do about 70% of the cooking. She does about 70% of the cleanup. She does 98% of the laundry. I iron my own stuff. She does about 75% of the cleaning. She does about 70% of the mowing, since she's a teacher and is home for the summer. (our lawn takes about 5 hours to mow). After school starts I do about 90% of the mowing. I get some extra credit for doing the snow shoveling, wood hauling, splittiing, stacking, building the fire and hauling the ashes.

04-13-2011	#13 (permalink)
Luv2Dance añejo Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 25,603	Wrinkle Release setting on our dryer is AWESOME!!! Throw a moist washcloth in with your clothes and BOOM.....wrinkles are gone. I grocery shop, cook and do dishes. We share laundry. I usually clean. Mikey helps at times though. He takes care of our plants. I have a black thumb.

04-13-2011	#14 (permalink)
roni añejo Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Oregon Posts: 59,678	I do almost all of the laundry, a lot of cooking and kitchen straighten-up. I do most of the vacuuming. Kathy does deep-cleaning. She does bathrooms. She does the flower gardens. I mow grass. She is looking forward to moving and having a part-time person do the bathrooms and other heavy cleaning. Oh, Kathy is semi-retired, I am not.

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