Kids? Age you or keep you young?

[Mexivoof]

I just had a discussion with a woman who's "baby" is going to prom.
Never having kids, I have none of these milestones to age me. I guess I understand that I could easily be a grandfather. I have used the line at work "I've been doing this since before you were born". But I really feel like 55 going on 32 ... except for some wrinkles, greys, and a back that isn't quite as good as it used to be.

[u2girlie]

My mother used to say that I kept her young. She & my dad had 7 kids. My oldest sister was born when they were 23 & 24. I was born when my mom was 44 & my dad was 45.

I don't have kids either and sometimes I forget that I'm not 20 anymore. I think it's all about attitude & activity as to whether you "stay" young. Not about whether you have kids or not.

[Trev]

Originally Posted by u2girlie

I think it's all about attitude & activity as to whether you "stay" young. Not about whether you have kids or not.

That's what I was going to say, more or less. I have 3 'kids', using the term loosely, ranging from 17 to 24. There were plenty of times they almost sent me to the asylum, but overall it's all about how you deal with stress and how well you hang onto your youth. The kids have little to do with it. My wife and I are both in our 'later' 40's and feel like twenty-somethings. We're healthy, active, happy and love life. That's what keeps us young. In fact, I think we're younger than our kids some days.

[Rissask]

No kids here.....but I think too that it just depends on the person, and also somewhat on the kids, too. I have friends who are having issues with their teens and that is somewhat stressing them out, but hopefully that is temporary, too.

I don't think I am any ' younger at heart' than our friends with kids are. In some ways I am more mature than some of them, actually! (like, when they very a night away from the hubby and kids, they cut loose way more than I do...maybe because I can do than anytime the desire to has waned?

Not having kids does allow us more freedom and time and money to spend doing things we find fun not only ' family fun' things.....that might aid in keeping us happy... sure about young, though.

[melliedee]

I don't have kids, but when I hang out with my nephews I find myself happily doing a lot of "kid" activities: walking in the woods looking for the Yeti, crouching at the pond shore with little nets to catch minnows, sidewalk chalk drawings, bubbles, shining flashlights on the person telling a ghost story....why are these even "kid" activities? So much fun. Yes, I do think they keep you young by reminding you of what you were like as a kid. When a whole afternoon could go by before you could be bothered to look at the time.

[Mogley]

I have kids and surprisingly I have aged at the same rate as other people. I do believe however that my dog has made me younger, he however is growing old at an alarming rateI think its that dog year thing, combined with Einstein's Theory of relativity, but I can't prove it.

[Harold-R]

I never had kids and seeing all the problems my friend’s kids caused them, I can’t see how they would keep you young.

[Skiptown]

Kids drive ya nuts sometimes, they teach you patience, they keep you in touch with the times as they grow up, they teach you unconditional love, they teach you how to try to understand a new generation that will have their turn at the world, they force you to accept change. They teach you that no matter how perfect you think they are, they are not and neither are you.
And in return you teach them what you know about life and how to be happy in whatever they do and to care about all people and that many are hard to care about at times.
And when you get older you hope that you have taught them about compassion.
I know mine has both given me gray hairs and also kept me feel young at the same time.

[DarMI]

I do think there is an age (teenagers) when they can wear on you. But then a few years down the line you get grandchildren and it reverses that aging

[PlayaGroom]

Speaking on behalf of the younger parents on this board, my 3 kids do a combination of both to my wife and I.

I've spent more time playing with LEGOs and learning about superheros over the last few years than I ever had as a child. I haven't been to a non-animated film in the theaters for almost 4 years, and don't really mind waiting until Redbox gets the Academy Award movies for me to see for the first time. I keep myself healthy and eat well partly for my own self-consciousness, but also to set a good example (I couldn't make them eat veggies if I didn't eat them myself ) and to do what I can to maximize my time on this planet with my kids.

But I've also "grown up" a lot faster than many of my childless friends.

Setting up college savings accounts. Writing living wills. Life insurance policies. Health benefit coordination and planning. Minimizing and killing debt. Homeownership and establishing roots in a community. Evaluating school districts in regards to where we want to live. Being able to function with no sleep.

Obviously I have friends that have done some of these things, too, but I'm quite sure I wouldn't have done them as quickly as I did, or realized their importance as quickly, had I not had children.

NOTE: I'm not saying that childless people are immature. I'm just saying that I was thinking about future planning, etc a bit sooner with kiddos in the picture.

[u2girlie]

Originally Posted by PlayaGroom

Being able to function with no sleep.

NOTE: I'm not saying that childless people are immature. I'm just saying that I was thinking about future planning, etc a bit sooner with kiddos in the picture.

I agree whole heartedly with both of these. (aka PG - you're always right )

As a very happy childless person, I can not function without my sleep. I am in awe of parents who wander through the day on a few hours sleep. I could not do it. If I had chosen to be a parent, maybe I could have. However, I could not do it now!

Hubby & I didn't do the grown up things (i.e. paying off debt, buying a house, etc) until we were in our mid 30s. We definitely blew through money (especially when hubby was racing motorcycles) that we wouldnt' have if we had kids. Although, more than likely the money would have just been redirected towards the expense of kids!

[Uno]

I think it was some sort time warp. We were young and pretty. We raised 3 girls. We got them out of the house. I looked in the mirror. Holy crap! What the hell happened!? I look like my dad!

[Rissask]

I think it IS likely fair to generalize somewhat about being parents and growing up faster in terms of responsibilities.

in our case, we have always been really budget conscious and savers, but I think we would have been like that if we had children, too....that is more a personality thing, somewhat. I know a LOT of highly irresponsible people (in terms of money) who have children, too.

[Seashell]

I have 2 girls, one is 16 and the other one is 10. They both keep me hoping, and sometimes it is exhausting. But, when they come up, put their arms around me before gojng to bed and say "I love you, Mom". It is the best feeling in the world. As far as feeling young or old, they do both... it just depends on what is happening at any particular time.

[Ginger]

My kids are going on 17 and 18. I can't believe that really. But I love these teenage years the best I think. I find them the most rewarding, as they now have their own views on life and the world and it's fun and inspiring to discuss real world issues with them and hear their perspectives. They are at an age where they teach ME things now!