For my Texas friends out there, a little something to inflate your ego

[Critter]

Republic of Texas:

I thought you'd all get a kick out of this one - Texan or not- (and Republican or not)....

Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get used to the results. After seeing the whiners along the inauguration route, the folks from Texas have decided that we might just take matters into our own hands.

Here is our solution:

#1: Let John Kerry, the Socialist, become President of the United States (all 49 states!).

#2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of Texas.

So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?

Texas will then become the 4th. largest country in the World!

NASA in Houston, Texas (we will control the space industry).

We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.

Defense Industry (we have over 65% of it). The term "Don't mess with

Texas," will take on a whole new meaning...

Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that!!

Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern states. John Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm....Maybe!! He first has to supply it for his 5 humongous, each well over $1million, houses...scattered all over, including Italy !

Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, Etc,Etc. The list goes on and on......

Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer research in the world,the best burn centers, and the top trauma units in the world, and other large health planning centers.

We have enough colleges to keep us going: U.T., Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the South anyway!!

We have a ready supply of workers (just open the border when we need some more!!) ..

We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.

In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple Texas Rangers.

We are totally self-sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs, fruit and vegetable produce; and everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good.

Don't need any food!

This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.

Now to the rest of the United States under President Kerry: Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9 mile per gallon SPORT UTILITY VEHICLE. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.

You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off your communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes but since Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas. Now, maybe we can sell you a whole lotta Pinto beans!! (Just in case you'd be interested!)



Signed, The People in Texas

[Softy57]

Very funny. IMHO the men of Texas do not need ego inflation,They're already as big as Texas!lol
:joker

[Softy57]

I do think that John Kerry will be bad for our country though.Head in the clouds,pie in the sky liberal.

[TAPPY]

Hmm Critter that is almost a good idea !!!

[TEX]

Hehehehe...

I like that one, Critter.. You left out the most important commodity in Texas, though...

SHINER BOCK

Right, Scotty?.....

[tommy]

it will also be easier to cross the mexican border then the new borders around the Republic of texas.......Pres.Fox and G.W. will even be better friends and corona will become a domestic beer.....I like the way all this is coming together....thanks Critter I knew I lived here for a good reason...I guess the ranch at crawford could be the new camp david...and the state capital will become the new Big House.......Long live the Alomo!

[sctx]

[quote=Critter]Republic of Texas:
In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it. [quote]

Six rifles???? The house I grew up in had over SIXTY working weapons and a pile of ammo for most of them !!! I began my firearms training at 4 years of age and received my first shotgun at 7 years.... life with a Marine Capt is so much fun!!!

[Tanaratige]

As if Texas doesn't have enought problems. Man, you must really hate the state to wish that upon us!

[Laura C]

It all sounds good to me. I could become a "New" Daughters of the Republic of Texas!

Also, can we get rid of Daylight Savings Time too?

[mckinzie]

and "Dude" could become an official greeting.

[jeffandbecky]

I personally take exception to the statement that Texas does not have its own army. As a member of the Govenor's "private" army, we can more than handle any problems that arise (maybe with the help of ONE Texas Ranger) A navy would be a little problem given that the last major action of the Texas Navy was in support of the fight for the independence of the Yucatan in the 1840's.

PS The Texas Rangers have a VERY bad reputation in Mexico due to the treatment of Tejanos in the late 1830's and early 1840's with regards to land claims (ethnic cleansing). Mexicans are very sensitive about the Texas Rangers and the Texas Revolution. Given the history they are, taught the whole series of events is an effort to their national honor. In the Yucatan "Texan" has almost as bad a rap as "Californian" does in the Baja.

[ami]

Sounds like a perfect job opportunity for PR folks-develop public relations between Texas and the Yucatan. The economic repercussions seem endless!

[bigdave]

without texas-----how well would the mexican yucatan flourish. we may have had a a part in the demise but we have a big part in there success. calif tourist go south to baja, east coast to bvi and usvi. texas puts a lot of tourist into the yucatan economy.

[Jesus]

Sorry, has to disagree with some statements:
"Texas will then become the 4th. largest country in the World!"

That is not true, Texas's area is 268,601 square miles = 695,673.4 square kilometers, and if you see the following table you will notice that there are many countries larger than that.

Rank Country Area (square kilometers)
1 Russia 17,075,400
2 Canada 9,976,140
3 United States 9,629,091
4 China 9,596,960
5 Brazil 8,511,965
6 Australia 7,686,850
7 India 3,287,590
8 Argentina 2,776,890
9 Kazakhstan 2,717,306
10 Sudan 2,505,810

"Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer research in the world,the best burn centers, and the top trauma units in the world, and other large health planning centers."

Hey, Why do you have those? Do you love to burn your coworkers so much? I thought that driving in Mexico city was dangerous, but if you got the top trauma units it should be because you driver worst than us, hehe.

Plus Texas has the ugliest ex-governor in Mary Richards and the ugliest journalist in Molly (I hate the bush family) Ivins.Word on the street is that both women braid their armpits and wear hob-nailed boots.