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Old 03-15-2014   #46 (permalink)
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After a few hours of beach time I convinced everyone we should spend the rest of the afternoon taking a walk North up the beach and check out the beach bars.

We packed up all our gear and took it back to the room where I made up a drink for all of us to get energized for the walk. It was a shot of Espolon tequila with a half of a can of boost. It was actually very refreshing so I quickly poured another before anyone had a chance to stop me. There were no complaints and I knew everyone would thank me as we raced up the beach later.

Lisa trying to distract me as I mix our beach walk drinks....

Our first beach bar stop was Wah Wah’s for a round of Sol cervezas.

I saw a giant balloon Sol bottle and commented to Tina that I needed to get a picture of myself standing next to it sometime this week. PalomaLover had the pleasure of chastising me later in the week for putting the picture off as it disappeared after we saw it this day.

The next stop was Lido’s where the bartender named Arlboro with a mustache curled up like Yosemite Sam served us more cold cervezas at the swing bar.

At this point, the many cervezas and drinks we had consumed today were beginning to affect my equilibrium. I was casually pushing myself on my swing, when my mind drifted off imagining myself as the lead muscular trapeze swinger at a circus effortlessly catching beautiful, scantily dressed ladies performing the choreographed flips, twist and spins.

Apparently I drifted too far and pushed my swing back, both hands free as I skillfully leaned my head back to sip my cerveza. Leaning back just as the swing began its forward descent to the bar caused my balance to shift slightly. My performance to keep from being tossed onto the sand below or smashing my head into the bar was nothing short of spectacular. I would say it was a solid 4 out of 10, but by the looks of Arlboro and my wife that score was generous.

Apparently I spent too much time with my face towards the sun today. It suddenly felt so hot, I was sure it was as red as sunburn on a baboon’s ass.

Yep, time to casually find the bano, that was a classic case of Man vs. Swing and I think Swing won this battle.

When I got back I quickly decided we should move this show down the beach to our next stop.

As we left I stole a quick glance back to Arlboro, he winked and gave me the thumbs up. I couldn’t help myself as I smiled at Arlboro thinking of Yosemite Sam and replied,
“Rassa frassa, jumpin jehosaphat!”

He laughed, although I am sure it was the obligatory stupid gringo tourist laugh.

Wah Wah's

PalomaLover at Wah Wah's

We continued walking past the the resorts of Gran Porto Real and The Royal to Mamita’s beach which was overly crowded with people. I realized that Playa’s popularity has greatly increased over the years as all of the beaches were pretty congested at most of the places we walked by today.

All too familiar

Jeff and Lisa at Lidos

Lovin Lidos..

PalomaLover, Arlboro AKA Yosemite Sam (jumpin jehosephat), Lisa.......

We went up Calle 26 about a block and stopped at the conveniently named “Hangover Bar”. It is a small bar on the North side of the street where we decided we should eat something before attempting the long walk back down 5th to the condo.

We all ordered Indio beers which El Jeffe (my new Mexican name for Jeff), and I really enjoyed. We then ordered shrimp tacos, crab tacos and squid tacos along with fresh guacamole. Maybe it was the hunger from all the walking and of course my acrobatics at the Lido, but this was the best meal we had discovered so far. We all loved the tacos, especially the squid tacos and the guacamole was amazing.

Jeff and Lisa at The Hangover Bar

Tina and Dean at The Hangover Bar

We love this bar...

That is really good looking.................Indio cervezas.....

Yep......Jeff really liked the guacamole!!!

We continued on with a stop at the Luna Blue Bar to see if Jorge was still bartending. He wasn’t today as he had injured his back recently, but was sitting behind the bar. Rubio was now bartending in his place and we ordered 4 palomas to which he quickly discovered he had no Fresca. That didn’t stop him as quickly grabbed some pesos and ran up the street to purchase the Fresca to pacify us drunks. I quickly grabbed a table with 4 chairs as I didn’t want to attempt man vs swing-Round 2 just yet.

We finished these and continued south on 5th with a stop at the bar at Yo Amo Taco. We decided to shake it up a bit and PalomaLover and I had a tequila sunrise while El Jeffe and Lisa had pina coladas.

It was very hot inside the bar and PalomaLover was wearing a beach dress/cover up that entertained us as she stepped in front of the fan to read a menu…..Ahh…. yes…… a Marilyn Monroe moment….

I think we all made an attempt to have fun in front of the fan, sexy for some (Lisa and PalomaLover), not so much for others..

Time to leave but not before we try a shot of Don Julio 70 that the bartender, Jamie from Chicago insisted we have. It was looking like it was going to be an early night as we were all….hmm….extremely inebriated and it was only around 8 pm.

Luna Blue Bar

Tequila Sunrise at Yo Amo Taco

Yo Amo Taco- To the unexperienced eye we still look sober....Not the case at all...I have my camera set on "Drunk". It's kind of like "Red Eye" but different

My beautiful wife and the "Marilyn Monroe" moment with the fan.

Jeff's beautiful wife with the fan and a conveniently placed pina colada.

PalomaLover is so lucky to have me.........When in Rome

Apparently we finished our stroll down 5th which none of remember much about. But we did come to the consensus that it must have been easier to maneuver dressed in the beachwear we had on all day. The hustlers knew it was not worth their time and didn’t bother us. Or maybe they did and we just tuned them out.

We made it to the condo and decided it was too early for bed yet, so more drinks were poured. We were all in a party mood as dirty dancing, photos, and more drinking ensued. Much laughter was heard as we told stories and danced as if Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire or Jay-Z and Beyoncé. From the looks El Jeffe and I received from our lovely wives, maybe Curly and Moe…..Yet, it finally took its toll as one by one we all dropped off somewhere around ???????………

At this point PalomaLover was the only one coordinated enough to open the lockbox.

Time for my mixing skills...

Time for Dance party!!

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
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Old 03-15-2014   #47 (permalink)
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How was staying at Xaman-Ha? I'm looking at there for August. Was there any issues getting a lounger with an umbrella (i get crispy in too much sun)? Did you rent through them directly or another way? I must admit, bringing my own drinks down to the beach is very appealing, as someone who prefers not to drink beer all day, those cocktails get pricey.
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Old 03-16-2014   #48 (permalink)
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Where is the rest of the story ??? You do have great writing skill, always fun to read about your trips!
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Old 03-16-2014   #49 (permalink)
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Howdy from your ND neighbor! Looks like we should get together and do some research some time! Enjoying your studies!
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Old 03-16-2014   #50 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by VermiciousKnid View Post
How was staying at Xaman-Ha? I'm looking at there for August. Was there any issues getting a lounger with an umbrella (i get crispy in too much sun)? Did you rent through them directly or another way? I must admit, bringing my own drinks down to the beach is very appealing, as someone who prefers not to drink beer all day, those cocktails get pricey.
The stay at the Xaman Ha was great. Our condo was just steps from the beach but it was a 3 bedroom. We were able to email the manager through the link below:
Xaman-Ha Vacation Rental - VRBO 453195 - 3 BR Playacar Condo in Mexico, 3 Bedroom Groundfloor End Unit Oceanfront Condo (Xh7022)

All the financial transactions took part through a company in Colorado Springs, Col. called Rentals Your Way:
Rentals Your Way | Premium Beach Vacation Properties

There were no issues obtaining a lounger next to an umbrella. There were loungers on both the north and south end of the property and many remained open all day. Most of the residents stayed up by the pool. Also, I am not positive but I would think in August it would be much slower. We loved it for the fact that we could save some cash during the day by mixing our own and the beach was by far less crowded than anywhere North of here. There is a pool bar at the Xaman Ha which we only used a couple of times. The bartender wasn't real friendly and acted like it was a big deal when my wife Tina went up and ordered any drink that required a blender. But we only did that when we wanted a change of pace from the palomas.
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Old 03-16-2014   #51 (permalink)
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Great TR Solman, you guys look like you know how to partay!!!
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Old 03-18-2014   #52 (permalink)
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Another GREAT trip report!

Can't wait to follow along on your vacation.....
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Old 03-20-2014   #53 (permalink)
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FEBRUARY 07, 2014
“Shot of tequila, beer on tap. Sweet southern woman, sit on my lap.”-Alan Jackson

I woke up this morning feeling pretty good considering all the consumption again yesterday. I suppose I am getting conditioned to this. There is nothing like being on vacation in the tropics near the beach to make the hangovers seem less mind blowing or even nonexistent.

I decided to step out on the patio that is off of our dining room to enjoy the morning. As I was sitting there I noticed some movement in the hedge towards the end of the condo. I kept my peripheral vision on the area as I gazed around, and finally it moved out of the hedge to where I could see it. I had no idea what it was but it looked like a giant spotted rat.

I decided that not having ever experienced this creature before was enough reason to stay away from it. It looked harmless but I did not want to be bitten by an angry spotted rat this early in the trip. Since being home we have discovered it is called an Agouti. Just as casual as it came out of the hedge it disappeared around the corner, hopefully not to come back.

Agouti/ Cheetah Rat

It looked as if it was going to be another very sunny beautiful day in Playa. The rest of my crew was still sleeping as it was very quiet in the condo, so I decided to go for a walk north along the beach. It might help clear the slight fog surrounding my brain caused by the previous day’s cervezas, palomas, shots, and miscellaneous cocktails.

The research has once again been progressing very well, maybe a little too well. This became painfully obvious as I stood up from my chair and turned to walk in the condo without really looking. The sliding screen door met my face knocking my hat off behind me onto the patio. That in itself was pretty minor, but as I bent to pick it up I saw the Xaman Ha security guard smiling as he approached.

“Hola Senor, you have problem with door”?

As I felt the temperature in my face rise, I decided the only way to diffuse the situation was to not avoid the obvious as I said, “Hola, no problem, too much tequila last night.”

To which he quickly replied, “Maybe not enough, maybe you need a shot now”!

“Si senor, maybe you are right”, I replied as we both chuckled and he moved on. Yet in the back of my mind I knew I was going to be in a story of his sometime later. But at least he knew me now.

It’s funny how memory works at times but I suddenly thought of a quote I heard the last time we were in Playa.

“The height of frustration is waking up in the middle of the night with a hard-on and breaking your nose as you walk into a wall.”

There is nothing quite like a peaceful, early morning stroll on the white sandy beaches of Playa. With each step I could feel any previous cares and anxieties leaving the body, my toes accepting and caressing the soft sugary, cool sensation in every step.

As I get older, I seem to have a built in alarm clock in my head that causes me to generally wake up before the others in our group. It is because of this and the fact of my “red card” status from the airport that I am able to enjoy these moments by myself. Some might disagree, but the peaceful, cool mornings on the beach or on a weekend in the summer at home are priceless.

As I walk down the beach, there are many pleasantries exchanged with the others who have risen early to be a part of this morning. I must convince Tina to take an early morning stroll with me before we leave. I am positive she will enjoy it as much as me once she is out here. She doesn’t generally sleep in much later than me but does enjoy the few extra peaceful moments without me flopping around next to her…………my nose is still the original shape….

Beautiful Morning Walk

My only complaint comes up as I am walking by the old El Faro lighthouse. The smell of oil and fuel taints the air as I get closer to the many fishing and dive boats that are tied up here. The waves splashing on the beach for a very short area have changed color to a dark, murky color. I am sure it is from spilled or leaking oil from the many boats. I notice one of the local boat operators is carrying a couple of five gallon jugs of fuel, wading through the surf as he gets to his boat, not really giving much thought to the splashing open containers. I have to remind myself that this is Mexico and many things are handled differently here, and there isn’t much I can do about it.

I continue North a short distance when I hear a growling rumble, realizing it is coming from me. I decide to make my way back to the condo as my stomach grumbles again pleading for sustenance. At least that is what I hope it is trying to tell me, not a warning that the previous day’s consumption has awakened my protesting organs. I believe the ring leader is the liver which I know is not happy as I have been punishing it since we arrived.

I stop at the OXO store and get coffee for the group and by the time I get back everyone is up and almost ready for breakfast. As Lisa spots me, she excitedly asks, “Did you see the Cheetah Rat”?
“Yes I did”, I reply, “That is a perfect name for whatever that thing is”!
We make our way down the beach and decide to eat breakfast at the Playa Maya. As we leave we decide to stroll up to 5th and make a stop to replenish the beer, tequila, and ice we consumed out of the condo yesterday. We decided to purchase some Indio beer, Sol beer and another bottle of the Espolon tequila as it worked so well yesterday with the palomas.

Jeff at Playa Maya

Jeff-Man vs. Sandal

As we made our way back down 10th and rounded the corner to our entrance to the condos, a sudden movement on the grey rock sidewalk made both El Jeffe and me jump. I am sure I heard a high pitched screech out of one of us, although neither would admit it. It was a two foot long iguana that was the same color as the sidewalk no more than 2 or 3 feet away.

I am not sure if our sudden presence scared him or he was getting ready to attack, but Jeff and I both looked at each other with eyes the size of Marty Feldman’s and busted out laughing.

The ladies fortunately had gone ahead of us to get ready and I was thankful for that. I was still going to make sure I was at least a step ahead of Jeff……because I happened to be carrying a little less and I thought it would be nice of me to get to the door first………you know, so I could open it for my friend…..yeah that’s why.

Funny thing though, it looks like he had the same idea as he had picked up his pace to match mine... such a considerate friend………..It was now a race for the condo to avoid any other embarrassing movements…….

We made it back to the condo without further incident, keeping to the center of the street and avoiding the sidewalk. The sidewalk was very uneven and extremely hard to walk on….Jeff had a look that said if he could fly, now would be the time to do it…..No such luck!!

It was much bigger in real life.

I won’t bore you with our afternoon activities just hanging out on the beach and drinking cocktails. It started somewhat slow, but progressed into laughter and stories as we watched people passing by, Jeff and I reliving our near miss with the “Great Grey Iguana”.

The cervezas and cocktails were going down good as the temperature according to my phone had reached 87 degrees.
It seems that the most enjoyable and relaxing moments are the ones that conveniently have a way of sending the slow Mexican clock into hyper speed and before you know it, the better part of the day had passed.

El Jeffe.....Weeeeeee I'm Superman

Sorry Jeff-I had to!!

Ready to go now!!

Jeff checking out his wife's "WEAPONS OF MASS DISTRACTION"

Xaman Ha Condos

Wonderful ocean moment with my beautiful wife!

Get a room!!!

PalomaLover "Chillin" and looking awesome!

Let me introduce you to "Mi Amigo-Espolon"

PalomaLover tasting the interesting looking tequila bottle stopper.

Good to the last drop!

PalomaLover making sure we have a mixing table.

Afternoon funnel cloud-disappeared after a short time!
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Old 03-20-2014   #54 (permalink)
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February 07 to be continued.......
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Old 03-20-2014   #55 (permalink)
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You're doing a great job honey! Even more so considering that you are away from home working long days in small town po-dunk Montana!
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Old 03-21-2014   #56 (permalink)
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February 07, 2014.....continued

We all cleaned up and decided to try some late lunch/ early dinner at Senor Frog’s. It is definitely not a favorite of ours, but it was close and Jeff and Lisa hadn’t been there yet. PalomaLover and I have very few requirements when on vacation as long as a refreshing cocktail can be enjoyed.

Ready to go.

On our way to Senor Frog’s we stopped and watched a wedding being performed on the beach next to Xaman Ha.

Senor Frog’s was the usual entertainment of loud music, shot girls, and balloon makers to which we politely turned them all down. I gave my camera to our waiter to take a picture of us. He seemed to be very intrigued by my little Pentax Optio camera when I explained to him that it was an underwater camera also. I told him to bring me a clear glass with water in it and I would prove it to him. He rushed off and came back with the water to which I promptly dropped the camera in the water and took a photo of him. It was cheap excitement but it seemed to make his day or at least minute.

Soon after finishing our food, Lisa looked out onto the beach, giggled as she jumped up and disappeared. We thought she was just going to the bano until we looked out and saw her jump onto the trampoline. We found out a couple of years ago that Lisa was a cheerleader back in her self-proclaimed innocent, wink, wink, high school days.

We received quite the show as Lisa gracefully leapt up and down on the trampoline as the sun began to set on another beautiful day on the beach. After all the yelling and cheering for encores subsided, Lisa casually made her way back to our table and dipped slightly in a curtsy to show us her appreciation of our support.

Hmmmm.......need more sun

One of my absolute faves.....

Didn't seem to happy about making guacamole..........until the camera went in the water glass to take his photo.

The Performance

Missed the double-triple backflip axel picture but this is how it ended.........

We had decided earlier that tomorrow we were going to take a mid-morning ferry to Cozumel, rent a jeep and take a day tour of the island. So this was going to be a relaxed casual evening ……..maybe just a couple more drinks.

We made our way to the Beer Bucket where we had a round of Pacifico’s and an after dinner shot of tequila. Of course we had the young bartender take our picture, and I had to perform the camera dunk in a water glass trick to prove to her it really worked.

We decided to maneuver the very steep uneven steps upstairs in the Bucket so we had a better vantage point of the street. It was here that we discovered the warmth of the tequila had kicked in. We were the only ones upstairs so I suppose you could say there might have been a few inappropriate moments. But, if a tree falls in a forest and there is no one there to see it, does it make a sound? Same scenario more or less, if it was just the four of us up there, it couldn’t possibly be inappropriate if no one witnessed anything.

Another photo in a glass of water..

Looks like I am the only one ready

Beer Bucket Wall of License Plates

The Beer Bucket Library-Lisa found a good read..
Jeff also found something good to ponder.....

I'm not a pondering type...more of a hands on kinda guy....

As long as we were this close, they were well aware of my arch-nemesis in Manne’s Biergarten tequila. So I convinced them or they convinced me we needed to have a beer at Manne’s so off we went. We enjoyed a couple of beers at Manne’s with NO shots of tequila and I quietly moved on before the suggestion came up.

But the night would not be complete without a stop at Wah Wah’s for palomas and a little dancing. The band was good. I don’t know who they were but it was a Friday so it wasn’t the Nasty Bastards. After a couple rounds we decided to head back to the condo as we had plans for Cozumel tomorrow.

Beer at Manne's

The crew with Manne.

Wah Wah's

The steady hand feature on the camera must not be working anymore.





Must be the ladies night.....

It was a nice evening and the walk was nice but for whatever reason we decided not to take the beach back. I am still sure it was a plan by our wonderful wives to attempt to scare Jeff and me again with some kind of cheetah rat grey iguana creature…a Cheraguana….

So naturally Jeff and I were so distracted looking for the fiercest, deadliest member of the Mexican Repti-Mammalian family that we failed to notice the beginning of the ladies performance.

By the time I realized what was happening and tried to get my camera out and focused, Lisa had already went sans-au-natural, let out a mischievous laugh and performed a dive in the pool. Not to be left out, PalomaLover let out a wickedly sexy scream and followed suit or non-suit except for the bottoms.

It happened just as an elderly German couple rounded the corner. She obviously wanted no part of this and immediately whipped 180 degrees around and was out of there. Of course the older gentleman pulled off his glasses, quickly cleaning them on his shirt just as “Helga” yelled at “Klaus” muttering something about der schwanz. He quickly ran off making it perfectly clear she was wearing the marching pants and der schwanz better be following or there would soon be der weinerschnitzel.

I would be lying if I didn’t say Jeff and I were a bit upset at the girl’s spontaneity, but not until I picked up my shockproof camera off the ground and snapped a couple pictures.

I was more concerned about getting kicked out of the condo complex on our third night. After a casual swim in the dark for the ladies, they jumped out, gathering their clothes and ran giggling into the condo.

Yeah, maybe we should have jumped in and joined them, but it all happened so quickly. I am sure the security guard was watching somewhere and would have pounced if we would have joined in.

Besides, cool water on der schwantz not even a close second to gorgeous women floating on their backs with der busen at attention!! (Probably not even a close translation…sure it brings the right picture to mind though)

Damn the luck.....No steady hand feature here.....

We made it into the condo and discovered we had two empty bottles of tequila…both Jeff and I smiled as we convinced the ladies it was time for bed………..

Tomorrow, Cozumel and the tequila tour….Okay? Okay!
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Old 03-21-2014   #57 (permalink)
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Totally loving this report! A welcomed break in my day!

Thank you!
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Old 03-22-2014   #58 (permalink)
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You are a wildman! Great Report!
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Old 03-22-2014   #59 (permalink)
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Bravo! Your report is helping me get through the rest of this very long winter. You folks sure know how to have fun. Thanks for taking the time to share your vacation.
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Old 03-22-2014   #60 (permalink)
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