FORUM FUN FEATURE!! Stages of Life
Tidbits like this will generally get a rise out of you guys, so here goes...
The Female Stages of Life
AGE DRINK
17 Wine Coolers
25 White Wine
35 Red Wine
48 Dom Perignon
66 Shot of Canadian Club with an Ensure chaser
AGE EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATE
17 Need to wash my hair
25 Need to wash and condition my hair
35 Need to colour my hair
48 Need to have Francois colour my hair
66 Need to have Francois colour my wig
AGE FAVOURITE SPORT
17 Shopping
25 Shopping
35 Shopping
48 Shopping
66 Shopping
AGE PREFERRED DRUG
17 SHOPPING
25 Shopping
35 Shopping
48 Shopping
66 Shopping
AGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 Burger King
25 Free meal
35 A diamond
48 A bigger diamond
66 Home alone
AGE FAVOURITE FANTASY
17 Tall, dark and handsome
25 Tall, dark and handsome, with money
35 Tall, dark and handsome, with money and a brain
48 A man with hair
66 A man
AGE HOUSE PET
17 Muffy the cat
25 Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the cat
35 Irish setter and Muffy the cat
48 Children from his first marriage and Muffy the cat
66 Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs Muffy the cat
AGE WHAT’S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17 17
25 25
35 35
48 48
66 66
AGE IDEAL DATE
17 He offers to pay
25 He pays
35 He cooks breakfast the next morning
48 He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
66 He can chew breakfast
The Male Stages of Life
AGE DRINK
17 Beer
25 Beer
35 Vodka
48 Double vodka
66 Maalox
AGE SEDUCTION LINE
17 My parents are away for the weekend
25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend
35 My fiancee is away for the weekend
48 My wife is away for the weekend
66 My second wife is dead
AGE FAVOURITE SPORT
17 Sex
25 Sex
35 Sex
48 Sex
66 Napping
AGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 Tongue
25 Breakfast
35 She didn’t set back my therapy
48 I didn’t have to meet her kids
66 Got home alive
AGE FAVOURITE FANTASY
17 Getting to third base
25 Airplane sex
35 Menage a trois
48 Taking the company public
66 Swiss maid / Nazi love slave
AGE HOUSE PET
17 Roaches
25 Stoned-out college roommate
35 Irish setter
48 Children from her first marriage
66 Barbi
AGE WHAT’s THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17 25
25 35
35 48
48 66
66 17
AGE IDEAL DATE
17 Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in
25 Split the cheque, before we go back to my place
35 Just come over
48 Just come over and cook
66 Sex in the corporate jet on the way to Vegas
__________________
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a pristine, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting "Holy Shit...what a ride!!"
|