[Bumper]

I've noticed a few folksfrom the garden state of New Jersey have been showing up lately. I wonder if any of them might care to comment on the following:

APPLICATION TO LIVE IN NEW JERSEY

Name: ________________________ Nickname:___________________

Address: _______________________ Exit: _______________________


Ethic Background:
Italian □ Sicilian □ Jewish □

Backyard Smells Like:
Sewage □ Sulphur □ Garbage □ All of the above □

Total number of muscle shirts owned:
5 - 10 □ 10 - 15 □ 15 - 20 □ Over 20 □

Total number of Bruce Springstein Tour shirts owned:
5 - 10 □ 10 - 15 □ 15 - 20 □ Over 20 □

Total number of Bruce Springstein shirts that are also muscle shirts:
5 - 10 □ 10 - 15 □ 15 - 20 □ Over 20 □

Brand of jeans preferred:
Sergio Valente □ Jordache □ Sassoon □ Cavaricci □

Percentage of wardrobe which is leather:
100% □ 95 - 100% □ 90 - 95% □ 85 - 90% □

Total number of gold chains owned:
10 - 15 □ 15 - 20 □ 20 - 25 □ Over 25 □

Number of gold chains worn at one time:
5 - 10 □ 10 - 15 □ 15 - 20 □ Over 20 □

Approximate value of all this jewelry:
$5 - $10 □ $10 - $15 □ $15 - $20 □ Over $20 □

Gold cap on at least one tooth? Yes □ No □

Hair Height:
6 - 8 Inches □ 8 - 12 Inches □ 1 - 2 Feet □ More than 2 feet □

Hair products used at any given time:
□ Hair Spray
□ Styling Gel
□ Mousse
□ Extra Hold Styling Gel
□ Bondo
□ Spackle
□ 40 Weight Pennzoil
□ Crazy Glue

Automobile owned:
□ IROC Z
□ Firebird
□ Camaro
□ Mustang
□ Chevette (You got a f#%*ing problem with that?)

Number of inches car is off the ground:
6 - 8 Inches □ 4 - 6 Inches □ 2 - 4 Inches □ Under 2 Inches □

Characteristics of automobile:
□ Gold chain around license plate
□ Neon lights around license plate.
□ Neon lights under car.
□ Chippendale / Playboy air freshener hanging from rear-view mirror.
□ Garter hanging from rear-view mirror.
□ Chrome hubcaps.
□ Stick-on window tinting.
□ Stick-on paint splash decals.
□ Fuzzy dice.

Favourite sports team:
□ F#$%*ing Giants
□ F#$%*ing Jets
□ F#$%*ing Mets
□ F#$%*ing Yankees
□ F#$%*ing Nets
□ F#$%*ing Knicks
□ F#$%*ing Devils
□ F#$%*ing Rangers
□ F#$%*ing Islanders

Favourite Music:
□ Techno
□ Rap
□ Bon Jovi
□ Bruce Springstein

Essay Question:
In one hundred words or less, define the term “Yoos Guys”