FORUM FUN FEATURE!!! Texas Tenets

**Bumper** · 04-20-2004

TEXAS TENETS

Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day.

There’s two theories to arguin’ with a woman. Neither one works.

If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ someone else’s dog around.

Never ask a man the size of his spread.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring loudly. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

Never smack a man who’s chewin’ tobacco.

It don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

Good judgement comes from experience, but a lot of experience comes from bad judgement.

Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.

When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don’t be surprised if they learn the lesson.

When you’re throwin’ your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

Lettin’ the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.

Always take a good look at what you’re about to eat. It’s not so important to know what it is, but it’s real important to know what it was.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Write it in your heart. Stand by the code, and it will stand by you.

Ask no more and give no less than honesty, courage, loyalty, generosity, and fairness.

You don’t need decorated words to make your meanin’ clear. Say it plain and keep some breath for breathin’.

Don’t never interfere with something that ain’t botherin’ you none.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is to stop diggin’.

If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.

It don’t matter so much how long a ride you have, as how well you ride it.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

The first thing to do when you get up in the morning is put on your Stetson.

Don’t worry about biting off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger’n you think.

Don’t get mad a someone who knows more’n you do. It ain’t their fault.

Talk low, talk slow, and don’t say too much.

Generally, you ain’t learnin’ nothin’ when your mouth is a-jawin’.

If you want to forget all your troubles, take a long walk in a brand new pair of high-heeled ridin’ boots.

The wildest critters live in the city.

Trust everybody in the game, but cut the cards anyway.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

No matter who says what, don’t believe it if it don’t make no sense.

Don’t let so much reality into your life that there ain’t no room left for dreamin’.

Makin’ it in life is sorta like bustin’ broncs; you’re likely to get throwed a lot. The only secret is to keep gettin’ back on.

Never miss a chance to rest your horse.

Go after life as if it were somethin’ that’s got to be roped in a hurry before it gets away.

Don’t squat with your spurs on.

TAPPY · 04-21-2004

Bumper you have been moved to a forum just for you !!!

**Bumper** · 04-21-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by TAPPY

Bumper you have been moved to a forum just for you !!!

Ya', Tappy, don't know how that happened?? I'm computer illiterate and certainly don't know how to do that! I think I detect James' computer-whiz hand in the process. I don't know if any future threads of "fun" stuff I might start under general topics get moved here or not, but I guess he'll let me know? Goodness knows, they're definitely "Off Topic Stuff", and I wouldn't want to clutter the main forum unnessarily.

**tommy** · 04-21-2004

we have all been moved to our own play area!!!! thanks James....I predict lots of cats and bunnies in the future!!!!

**denisea** · 04-21-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bumper

Ya', Tappy, don't know how that happened?? I'm computer illiterate and certainly don't know how to do that! I think I detect James' computer-whiz hand in the process. I don't know if any future threads of "fun" stuff I might start under general topics get moved here or not, but I guess he'll let me know? Goodness knows, they're definitely "Off Topic Stuff", and I wouldn't want to clutter the main forum unnessarily.

James, is innocent. I'm the one who moved your thread since it was completely OT --- had nothing to do with Playa. If had been "fun" stuff relating to Playa I would have left it where it was.

TAPPY · 04-21-2004

Keep em coming Bumper we like them !!!!!!

**tommy** · 04-21-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by denisea

James, is innocent. I'm the one who moved your thread since it was completely OT --- had nothing to do with Playa. If had been "fun" stuff relating to Playa I would have left it where it was.

thanks denisea..Bumper has really been mucking up the topics in General Board...We forum folk who dont agree with all his shananigins thank you..

now play on..

**sctx** · 04-21-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by denisea

James, is innocent. I'm the one who moved your thread since it was completely OT --- had nothing to do with Playa. If had been "fun" stuff relating to Playa I would have left it where it was.

see guys, like a tiger on Roy..... damn she's quick...and merciless... she just might survive the Dallas trip in June.... but not unscathed :p

**Bumper** · 04-21-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by denisea

James, is innocent. I'm the one who moved your thread since it was completely OT --- had nothing to do with Playa. If had been "fun" stuff relating to Playa I would have left it where it was.

All righty then! It's not like I didn't know it was off topic, I just thought our considerable Texas contingent might get a kick out of it. Frankly, I didn't even know the "off topic stuff" area even existed, or I would have put it here. Honest, Denise, I'm ignorant, and I can prove it!! (Maybe I shouldn't say that like I'm so proud of it, eh?)

I love the way this site is always changing and improving, and the creation of this place to post things that shouldn't be cluttering up the real threads - but could be fun - is really opening an interesting can of worms. And we all like fun, don't we??

saxman · 04-21-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bumper

- is really opening an interesting can of worms. And we all like fun, don't we??

Speaking of a can of worms, Dallas - Texas, and fun; how about those Sacramento Kings?!?!

**Bumper** · 04-21-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by sun seekers

thanks denisea..Bumper has really been mucking up the topics in General Board...We forum folk who dont agree with all his shananigins thank you..

now play on..

Gee, Tommy & Scott, thanks LARGE for your support!! Letting the ruthless moderator beat up on the poor Ol' Bumper. I'm hurt, disillusioned, and more than a little disappointed by your insensitivity. (I searched in vain for a "Smiley" with a huge pout to insert here) Didn't you take note of the tenet, "Talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much"?

**sctx** · 04-21-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bumper

TEXAS TENETS
Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Worked with one of Lawrence Welks nephews in Dallas 15 years ago.... he strolls into work with a big black eye one morning...
(me) : Jason, how'd you get that shiner ???

(jason) : I stood up

(me) : What???

(jason) : Yeah, I was just siiting at the bar working on my 7th beer and this guy told me to "Stand Up"... so I stood up and he belted me in the eye

(me) : well damn, did you kick his ass ???

(jason) : No , after he hit me, he cleared everything up

(me) : so he apologized ???

(jason) ; Not really, i actually had to apologize to him later

(me) : What ???????

(jason) : Yeah, I was laying on the floor bleedin all over the place when the guy told me .................... .." I said SHUT UP, not stand up.... dumbass !!!"

Tru story... and don't get me started on the all the scraps our Canadian boss got us in at that bar !!!

**james** · 04-21-2004

I was on a tour all day.

It was a good stroke of moderation by Denise. The off-topic forum isn't the dungeon, or basement. I'm glad we have it. I'm off-topic alot. Mostly.

The forum is more valuable to visitors when the content is properly labeled and on the correct shelf.

**sctx** · 04-21-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by saxman

Speaking of a can of worms, Dallas - Texas, and fun; how about those Sacramento Kings?!?!

Dallas?????? Spurs Rule !!!!!!

**tommy** · 04-21-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bumper

Gee, Tommy & Scott, thanks LARGE for your support!! Letting the ruthless moderator beat up on the poor Ol' Bumper. I'm hurt, disillusioned, and more than a little disappointed by your insensitivity. (I searched in vain for a "Smiley" with a huge pout to insert here) Didn't you take note of the tenet, "Talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much"?

Sorry Bumper we thought we were in trouble....so we pointed the finger and you just happen to be in the direction we were pointing!!!!

no harm done...It wasnt personal....Yeah Bumper for giving us great reading material....Im printing this and going to drop the kids off at the pooooooooooooooooool!!!!!!!!!!!

04-20-2004	#1 (permalink)
Bumper Class Clown Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Winnipeg, Canada Posts: 9,119	FORUM FUN FEATURE!!! Texas Tenets TEXAS TENETS Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day. There’s two theories to arguin’ with a woman. Neither one works. If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ someone else’s dog around. Never ask a man the size of his spread. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring loudly. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut. Never smack a man who’s chewin’ tobacco. It don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep. Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut. Good judgement comes from experience, but a lot of experience comes from bad judgement. Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly. When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don’t be surprised if they learn the lesson. When you’re throwin’ your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else. Lettin’ the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in. Always take a good look at what you’re about to eat. It’s not so important to know what it is, but it’s real important to know what it was. Never miss a good chance to shut up. Write it in your heart. Stand by the code, and it will stand by you. Ask no more and give no less than honesty, courage, loyalty, generosity, and fairness. You don’t need decorated words to make your meanin’ clear. Say it plain and keep some breath for breathin’. Don’t never interfere with something that ain’t botherin’ you none. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is to stop diggin’. If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there. It don’t matter so much how long a ride you have, as how well you ride it. Always drink upstream from the herd. The first thing to do when you get up in the morning is put on your Stetson. Don’t worry about biting off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger’n you think. Don’t get mad a someone who knows more’n you do. It ain’t their fault. Talk low, talk slow, and don’t say too much. Generally, you ain’t learnin’ nothin’ when your mouth is a-jawin’. If you want to forget all your troubles, take a long walk in a brand new pair of high-heeled ridin’ boots. The wildest critters live in the city. Trust everybody in the game, but cut the cards anyway. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket. No matter who says what, don’t believe it if it don’t make no sense. Don’t let so much reality into your life that there ain’t no room left for dreamin’. Makin’ it in life is sorta like bustin’ broncs; you’re likely to get throwed a lot. The only secret is to keep gettin’ back on. Never miss a chance to rest your horse. Go after life as if it were somethin’ that’s got to be roped in a hurry before it gets away. Don’t squat with your spurs on. __________________ Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a pristine, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting "Holy Shit...what a ride!!"

04-21-2004	#13 (permalink)
james beach geek admin Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: 10 year Playa resident lost in Kullavik, Sweden Posts: 9,539	I was on a tour all day. It was a good stroke of moderation by Denise. The off-topic forum isn't the dungeon, or basement. I'm glad we have it. I'm off-topic alot. Mostly. The forum is more valuable to visitors when the content is properly labeled and on the correct shelf. __________________ My lovely house is for sale Get your own signature countdown image! Thanks for taking the time to read the announcement!

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04-21-2004	#2 (permalink)
TAPPY Weeziana peep Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Louisiana Posts: 14,623	Bumper you have been moved to a forum just for you !!!

04-21-2004	#4 (permalink)
tommy Moderator Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Tx Posts: 12,004	we have all been moved to our own play area!!!! thanks James....I predict lots of cats and bunnies in the future!!!!

04-21-2004	#6 (permalink)
TAPPY Weeziana peep Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Louisiana Posts: 14,623	Keep em coming Bumper we like them !!!!!!

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