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CNN News Flash !!!
AP: Snarling packs of Corona starved beachwolverines are marauding thru the streets of Playa del Carmen. Tourists are advised to keep their beers hidden inside a Playa Info coozies and to drink them rapidly if a beachwolverine approaches. CNN wildlife consultant Steve Irwin recommends not to play dead, but to act completely sober so as to fool the animals into thinking you are drinking bottled water.
A local truck driver is in seriuos condition tonite after the delivery truck he was driving was attacked by 27 beachwolverines at the Modelorama on 307.
Juan Hernandez is suffering from hundreds of puncture wounds to all parts of his body... and the attackers made off with Juan's gold plated bottle opener.
Local autorities are offering a 10 peso reward for information leading to the capture of any beachwolverines involved in this vicious beer jacking
Editors Note: While this can be printed as a document at any local Kinkos, all the information contained within is purely fictional
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