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Old 08-24-2017   #61 (permalink)
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Salaried workers in white collar jobs do okay or at least better. Even here. Workers not so well. I live in rural Iowa. A friend of mine lost his job where he had worked for the last 18 years at the age of 61. Got another job at a small manufacturer in our county. He has 1 week of vacation for the coming year. And he works on Saturday at Fareway Grocery part time to make up for his wage shortfall from his previous job. He is a hard worker and a great guy of high morals. Lost his Maintenance Job at a Non-profit for mentally handicapped organization due to probable nepotism. But good luck in proving that. And he is the type of guy to just let it go and not file a lawsuit and just move on.
That is inhumane, all of it.

I was a research analyst / research evaluation coordinator at two institutions of higher education during thos 20 years. The first boss did not want me to leave rural Illinois, but understood it. The boss at my last job did not want me to retire, but understood it. The wife's increasing blindness was the partial cause for both changes.
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Old 08-24-2017   #62 (permalink)
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That is inhumane, all of it.

I was a research analyst / research evaluation coordinator at two institutions of higher education during thos 20 years. The first boss did not want me to leave rural Illinois, but understood it. The boss at my last job did not want me to retire, but understood it. The wife's increasing blindness was the partial cause for both changes.
Sorry to hear of your wife's blindness. Caregivers such as yourself are selfless in the love they show. You are someone that is very admirable.
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Old 08-24-2017   #63 (permalink)
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Sorry to hear of your wife's blindness. Caregivers such as yourself are selfless in the love they show. You are someone that is very admirable.

Stormin, are you married? I mean, you don't have to answer but just curious.
Not to start an argument but I would never want anyone to refer to me as my wife's "caregiver." A little too clinical for what marriage is all about, IMHO.
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Old 08-24-2017   #64 (permalink)
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Stormin, are you married? I mean, you don't have to answer but just curious.
Not to start an argument but I would never want anyone to refer to me as my wife's "caregiver." A little too clinical for what marriage is all about, IMHO.
We kinda take care of each other. As her blindness increases - it is like looking through a paper towel roll now, extreme tunnel vision, my household duties have increased.

It is common for the spouse without the disability/illness to become and be referred to the caregiving spouse. It does sound a bit clinical, but can also be accurate.

My mother's second husband had Parkinson's disease. When it became advanced, she became his caregiver. I did some reading about it back then. It is common terminology in the States.
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Old 08-24-2017   #65 (permalink)
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Sorry to hear of your wife's blindness. Caregivers such as yourself are selfless in the love they show. You are someone that is very admirable.
Thank you, but I am just her husband of 38 years. When she was diagnosed, back 25 years ago or so, she offered me a way out which, of course, I declined to take.

She does a significant amount of caring for me, I view it as about even. She is pretty darn independent and rightfully so. She has tunnel vision and uses a mobility cane that the Oregon Commission for the Blind trained her to use.

We do all right.
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Old 08-24-2017   #66 (permalink)
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We kinda take care of each other. As her blindness increases - it is like looking through a paper towel roll now, extreme tunnel vision, my household duties have increased.

It is common for the spouse without the disability/illness to become and be referred to the caregiving spouse. It does sound a bit clinical, but can also be accurate.

My mother's second husband had Parkinson's disease. When it became advanced, she became his caregiver. I did some reading about it back then. It is common terminology in the States.
Caregiving is a labor of love. Very challenging emotionally and physically. And yes, there is great satisfaction from giving care to the one you love.

https://www.caregiver.org/caregiving...hysical-issues
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Old 08-24-2017   #67 (permalink)
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My uncle is both spouse and full time and total caregiver to his wife-my aunt has advanced MS and has been confined to a wheelchair for over 15 years now.

They are both in their early seventies now and I admire him immensely....not many people would still be caring for someone in her condition alone and in their home.

Very admirable. It's true that you do what you have to do, but many in his situation would have taken an easier way out by now -she has a pretty good attitude though, which I'm sure makes a big difference.

Last edited by Rissask; 08-24-2017 at 07:33 PM..
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Old 08-24-2017   #68 (permalink)
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My uncle is both spouse and full time and total caregiver to his wife-my aunt has advanced MS and has been confined to a wheelchair for over 15 years now.

They are both in their early seventies now and I admire him immensely....not many people would still be caring for someone in her condition alone and in their home.

Very admirable. It's true that you do what you have to do, but many in his situation would have taken an easier way out by now -she has a pretty good attitude though, which I'm sure makes a big difference.
He Loves Her. Completely.
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Old 08-25-2017   #69 (permalink)
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He Loves Her. Completely.
well, I am sure he does....but you can love your spouse and yet not want to change their diapers for years.
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Old 08-25-2017   #70 (permalink)
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We kinda take care of each other. .
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Old 08-26-2017   #71 (permalink)
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We kinda take care of each other.



And that's what we both signed up for!

My wife has two forms of arthritis that have crippled her for the last 20 years. Her hands and feet are severely deformed and she has had several joint replacements.

And through it all Barb smiles 'belligerently'! I took over the daily chores of housekeeping many years ago and she supervises and does most of the cooking. (She's a retired cookbook editor and recipe developer. I'm a very lucky guy!).

I consider it a pretty equal division of duties. We've recently attained 50 years of wedded bliss (), raised three wonderful daughters and are now happily traveling and enjoying life.

Ron and I are very lucky! Three of our best friends lost their wives in the last two years to cancer. The loss they feel is impossible to describe or understand.

Ron and I both have the joy of helping our wives and enjoying their wisdom, love and company. And they have the confidence in our love for them forever. (Just like each of us promised each other many years ago.)

BTW, Barb turned 70 today. This picture was taken last spring at our middle daughters' 46th birthday! Ain't she a doll?

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