FORUM FUN FEATURE!!! Top Ten Reasons For Being...

[Bumper]

Because of the wide variety of national origins of so many of those who frequent this forum, I felt you might enjoy this little bit of distraction. I realize it is not exactly politically correct, but it's not intended to offend, merely amuse. Besides, if something attacks everybody...can it be said to be discriminatory?

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH

1.When speaking fast, you can make yourself sound gay.
2.Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for the first time.
3.You get to eat insect food like snails and frog legs.
4.If there’s a war you can surrender really early.
5.You don’t have to read the sub-titles on those late-night movies on Channel 52.
6.You can test your nuclear weapons in other people’s countries.
7.You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.
8.You can allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street destroying your sense of national pride.
9.You don’t have to bother with toilets, just piss in the street.
10.People think you’re a great lover, even when you’re not.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AN AMERICAN

1.You can have a woman president without electing one.
2.You can spell colour and honour wrong and get away with it.
3.You can keep a straight face while calling Budweiser “beer”.
4.You can be a crook and still be president.
5.If you’ve got enough money, you can be elected to any position you want.
6.If you can breathe, you can get a gun.
7.You get to be really obese.
8.You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody notices.
9.You get to call everybody you’ve ever met “buddy.”
10.You can think you’re the greatest nation on earth...when you’re not...at all.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH

1.Two World Wars and one World Cup, doo-dah doo-dah.
2.Proper beer.
3.You get to confuse everybody with the rules of cricket.
4.You get lots of practice accepting defeat graciously in major sporting events.
5.Union jack underwear.
6.Water shortages guaranteed every summer.
7.You can live in the past imagining you’re still a world power.
8.Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not.
9.Ditto changing underwear.
10.Beats being Welsh (or Scottish)


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN

1.In-depth knowledge of obscure pasta shapes.
2.Unembarrassed to wear fur.
3.No need to worry about tax returns.
4.Glorious military history - prior to 400 AD.
5.Can wear sunglasses inside.
6.Political stability.
7.Flexible working hours.
8.Live near the Pope.
9.Can spend hours braiding girlfriend’s armpit hair.
10.Country run by Sicilian murderers.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH

1.Glorious history of killing off entire South American tribes.
2.The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees.
3.You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits etc.
4.The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.
5.Everybody else makes crappy paella and claims it’s the real thing.
6.Honestly.
7.Only sure way of getting laid is to dress up in stupid, skin-tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls.
8.You get to eat bull’s testicles.
9.Gibraltar.
10.Supported Argentina in the Falklands war.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN

1.Chicken Madras
2.Lamb Passanda
3.Onion Bhaji
4.Bombay Potato
5.Chicken Tikka Masala
6.Rogan Josh
7.Papadoms
8.Chicken Dopiaza
9.Meat Boona
10.Kingfisher Lager


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH

1.You’ve got to be kidding...right?


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH

1.Guinness.
2.18 children because you can’t use contraceptives.
3.You can get into a fight just by marching down somebody’s road.
4.Pubs never close.
5.Can use Papal edicts on birth control, based on the second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend you can’t have sex while wearing a condom.
6.No one can ever remember the night before.
7.You get to kill people you don’t agree with.
8.Stew.
9.More Guinness.
10.Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a night of sectarian violence.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING A CANADIAN

1.It beats being an American.
2.Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
3.You can play hockey 12 months of the year...outdoors.
4.Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
5.Where else can you travel 2,000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
6.A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his / her popularity rating will go up.
7.Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital yo the ground.
8.You can kill Grizzly bears with giant guns and cover your house with their hides.
9.Own-an-Eskimo scheme.
10.Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AN AUSTRALIAN

1.Know your great-grandad was a murdering psychopath that no civilized country on earth wanted.
2.Fosters Lager.
3.Dispossess aborigines who have lived in their country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs to you.
4.Captain of your National Cricket team isn’t afraid to cry on TV.
5.Tact and sensitivity.
6.Bondi Beach.
7.Other beaches.
8.Liberated attitude to homosexuals.
9.Drinking cold Fosters Lager on the beach.
10.Having a bit of a swim then drinking cold Foster Lager on the beach.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH

1.You can be arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them.
2.You can make jokes about the Belgians but still drink their beer.
3.a) You can legally kill yourself b) You can legally be killed
4.You’re exactly like the Germans, except nobody hates you.
5.You think you’re a world power, but everybody else thinks Copenhagen is your capital.
6.You get to insult people and defend yourself by claiming it’s a national tradition.
7.You can save your country by putting your finger in a dyke.
8.You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still you’ve never met your neighbours.
9.If the economy is bad, you can blame the Germans. If a war is started, you can blame the Germans. If you lose your keys, you can blame the Germans.
10.Bikes are public property. Locks are only a minor inconvenience.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN

1.You get to speak three languages, but none of them intelligibly.
2.If other nations want to fight a war, they will do it in your country.
3.You can brew drinks out of fruit and still call them beer.
4.You are either a) Like the Dutch, but less efficient b) Like the French, but less romantic c) Like the Germans, but don’t march as well.
5.Decent fries. Real mayonnaise. Great chocolate. The best beer.
6.No one knows anything about you, except for the Dutch and the French, and they make fun of you.
7.More scandals in a week than any other country in a decade.
8.You can drive like a maniac and nobody cares.
9.All your famous countrymen are either imaginary, or sex-offenders.
10.Face it, it’s not really a country, is it?


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN

1.You get to pay the highest taxes in the world.
2.You can kill baby seals and eat Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer.
3.You live in total freezing darkness half the year and get 24 hour ozone-hole radiation the other half.
4.You can get the death penalty for smoking dope.
5.You can go skiing in your knickers.
6.You get to hate the Swedes and beat the Brazilians in soccer.
7.You have to be a woman to get anywhere.
8.You don’t have to worry about land prices sky-rocketing. The country is fairly spacious and, for the most part, unwanted.
9.When abroad, you can impress people you meet with stories about killing polar bears and eating penguins - and they believe you.
10.You can actually get bored with blondes.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SCOTTISH

1.You ain’t English!
2.You ain’t English!
3.You ain’t English!
4.You ain’t English!
5.You ain’t English
6.You ain’t English!
7.You ain’t English!
8.You ain’t English!
9.You ain’t English!
10.You ain’t English!

[Critter]

Did you forget anyone?

[Rainman]

Bumper dont you have one for Mexicans? Or did I over look it. You know it could happen from a guy who calls Budwiser Beer.
Seeking Knowledge.
Rainman

[sctx]

Bump, I have to object to this thread .... don't know where you studied your history but there aint never been no Canadians down here in Austin Texas burning anything !!!

[TAPPY]

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
1. You wake up one morning to find you suddenly have beachfront
property
2. Amusing town names like "Flin Flon" and "Winnipeg"
3. All your local bands make it big and move to Toronto
4. The only province to ever violently rebel against the federal
government
5. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes
6. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter
7. You don't need a car, just take the canoe to work
8. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood
9. Because of your license plate, you are still "friendly" even
when you cut someone off
10. Pass the time watching trucks and barns float by

AND

In Canada, there are only 2 seasons - six months of winter and 6 months of poor snowmobiling


What's the definition of a Canadian? - A disarmed American with health care...


When a Canadian thinks of Hell...he wonders what the heating bill must be.

Just a little humor for ya bumper !!! All in fun...we love you guys up North.....

[cja]

Tappy - that's good. I'm glad to see someone from waaaaaay down south has such an accurate picture of Manitoba!

[txhornet]

It would seem that living in "Winterpeg" gives you ample amount of time to conjure up ideas of what it would be like to live some where other than Winterpeg while freezing your jewels off! Made it to Winnipeg 3 times this last year and will be back at the end of the month....the only good thing I can say is...GREAT beer and it stays cold no matter where you are! And I'm with SCTX....Canadians burning capitals...not in Texas!!!

[Bumper]

Originally Posted by sctx

Bump, I have to object to this thread .... don't know where you studied your history but there aint never been no Canadians down here in Austin Texas burning anything !!!

Don't take it personally, Scotty. Us Canucks burn things everywhere we go. Something to do with wanting to keep warm, I suspect. I'm sure they only started that fire in Washington to take the chill off, and it got a little out of hand while they were all off playing hockey on the Potomac. (It seems like there should be a joke in there somewhere about George Washington, Potomac River, coin toss to start the game...or something along those lines...)

[Bumper]

Originally Posted by TAPPY

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA

Ya' know, Tappy, I might take offence at some of these, but they're pretty much true...mostly.

Mind you, the province of Manitoba isn't covered with water the whole year. Most of the time, it's buried in snow, and the rest of the year it's blanketed in mosquitos the size of Cessnas. Any wonder so many of us like to get away to Playa as often as we can manage? (233 days, but who's counting?)

[sctx]

Originally Posted by Bumper

Don't take it personally, Scotty. Us Canucks burn things everywhere we go. Something to do with wanting to keep warm, I suspect. I'm sure they only started that fire in Washington to take the chill off

Ohhhh, Washington D.C., your were talkin about the Yankee capital !!! Couldn't imagine something like that happening down here !

[Critter]

Originally Posted by Bumper

(It seems like there should be a joke in there somewhere about George Washington, Potomac River, coin toss to start the game...or something along those lines...)

That was the Deleware, not the Potomac.

[Bumper]

Originally Posted by Critter

That was the Deleware, not the Potomac.

You sure, Crit? I thought he chopped down the cherry tree, threw the silver dollar across the Potomac, then stood up in the boat adjusting his shorts while a bunch of overdressed galley slaves rowed it across the Delaware? But I admit I'm just a dumb Canuck, so I've probably got it wrong.

[Critter]

Actually he was supposed to have thrown the coin across the Rappahannock River. Confused yet, here is more than you ever wanted to know:

In Virginia, learn about George Washington at three of his residences


By Michael Schuman
FOR THE TRIBUNE-REVIEW
Sunday, February 16, 2003


Call me George.
I'm standing on the site of Ferry Farm, George Washington's boyhood home on the banks of Virginia's Rappahannock River, near the same spot where legend has it the nation's first president flung a silver dollar across the rolling waters. I take a rock and throw. It lands, plunk, perhaps a third of the way across. Okay, so call me the middle reliever for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

Did the "Father of Our Country" really throw a silver dollar across the fabled river? One can find the answer, sort of, at any of three of Washington's homes, all open to the public in Virginia. George Washington Birthplace National Monument sits near the region's other famed river, the Potomac, about 40 miles east of Fredericksburg in Westmoreland County. Ferry Farm, where young George came of age, is on the outskirts of Fredericksburg. And the home where he lived as an adult, Mount Vernon, is about 16 miles from his eponym and the nation's capital, Washington, D.C.

George Washington Birthplace National Monument

Welcome to baby George's world, where people use oranges spiked with cloves as deodorant, slaves sleep on a corn husk bed in a detached kitchen and the youngest child empties the family chamber pots every morning. This is life on the plantation of a gentleman tobacco farmer in 1732, when George Washington first saw day's light on Feb. 22. An extensive reproduced 18th-century plantation marks the site.

In the detached kitchen, ranger Jennifer Kays explains, "Baths were taken only five or six times a year to preserve natural oils thought at the time to protect people from illnesses." Hence, oranges and cloves instead of soap and water.

Inside the kitchen Jennifer demonstrated 18th-century, state-of-the-art appliances that a comfortable planter like George's father, Augustine Washington, would have owned. These include a roasting spit in the fireplace, a kick toaster operated by foot and a new invention called a waffle iron.

Dinners were heavy on venison, fish and a variety of breads. Such feasts added pounds, but that was the idea. Big bellies were the fashion and false pads to make stomachs appear large were as popular as diet drinks today. As a necessary antidote, tea of peppermint was served to settle indigestion. If meat had spoiled in the heat of the summer, one might have added basil or red peppers to cover up the stale flavor.

The eight-room main house here is not original. When built in 1930 and 1931, it was thought to replicate the home where Augustine and Mary Washington lived with their family. Research since then has indicated that the real main house was about half its size. It has also shown that the current house does not sit on the original home's foundation, which was 30 yards to the south and is marked by an oyster shell outline. The detached colonial kitchen does sit on the original's location, but is probably bigger than the one where the Washington family slaves would have fixed supper.

Other replica buildings include a weaving room and blacksmith workshop. In an introductory film one learns that in the days before Hershey Bars and Fruit Rollups, raisins were a special treat for kids. "Yecch," my seven year old spewed out. "I can't believe that was a treat."

George Washington's Ferry Farm

If George Washington did indeed throw a silver dollar across the Rappahannock and chop down his father's cherry tree, the deeds were accomplished here on the site of his boyhood home just across the river from historic Fredericksburg. The narratives telling those tales flowed from the prodigal pen of Parson Mason Weems at the turn of the 19th century. They are also the among the main reasons why this patch of real estate was saved in 1996 from being paved over and replaced by a (shudder!) Wal-Mart. It is now owned and operated by George Washington's Fredericksburg Foundation, which also owns and operates Historic Kenmore, the nearby plantation home of Washington's sister, Betty.

Washington lived here from ages 6 through 20, and no buildings from his time stand. The original Washington main house burned on Christmas Eve 1740 when George was eight. Augustine Washington's replacement home lasted into the early 1800s, but died a slow, crumbling death. The sole existing structure, a small, boxy, frame building with a brick chimney, was long regarded by locals as Washington's first surveyor's office. Research has since shown that it is built from materials dating to the 1890s and was probably a farmhand's house. Then again, the work done in the 1890s may have been a refurbishment of a much older building.

Archaeological digs are ongoing. Manager of Visitor Programs Paul Schuster says that more than 700 test units have been started and as a result the sites of three possible Washington family buildings have been discovered. In fact, one of several children's workshops taking place regularly is called "I Dig George" and introduces kids to the technology of archaeology.

So what is there to do here? A self-guided walking tour takes visitors past detailed historic markers, the remains of an early 20th-century ice house and the outline of Augustine Washington's first home here. A children's learning garden sits where a Wal-Mart parking lot would have been and of course, there is the Rappahannock, where one can try to emulate Washington's throw.

So did young George really chuck a buck across the water? And did he really chop down the cherry tree? The answers are yes, no, and maybe. According to Schuster, Spanish silver coins called "dollars" existed in George's day, but were too valuable to waste on a toss across the water. Stones, on the other hand, were as common as... well, stones; and Washington was a tall, muscular man.

And the toss can indeed be done. In 1936, Baseball Hall of Famer Walter "Big Train" Johnson threw a silver dollar from one bank to the next. In 1999, two pitchers from nearby Stafford County High School's baseball team managed the feat with stones. It is within the realm of possibility that Washington did the same with a rock as a young man.

"Where is Washington's cherry tree?" is one of the most asked questions to staff members. Answer: It is long gone since cherry trees don't live 250 years. However, three replacement trees are on the site. Anyway, Weems's story says only that Washington used his new ax to hack its bark, killing it, then admitted the truth to his father. Did it really happen here? It is, says Schuster, certainly within his character.

Mount Vernon

Contrary to a widely publicized factoid, it is the President, not the King, who rules in America. George Washington's Mount Vernon, not Elvis Presley's Graceland, is the second-most visited private home in the United States. (For the statistically minded, the White House draws about 1.25 million visitors a year, Mount Vernon receives roughly 1 million and Graceland hosts around 700,000.)

In spring and fall lines can be an hour to 90 minutes long as fans of George wait to stroll through the president's adult home. Guides are posted throughout the house to tell the story of 12 of its 16 total rooms, from Washington's beloved turquoise-green dining room downstairs to his bedchamber, which offered a respite of privacy in a very public home. It is also the room where he died on Dec. 14, 1799.

While it is hard to separate the icon from the human being, give it a try as you walk through the pillared mansion. For these are the actual rooms Washington walked, and about 50 percent of the furnishings are the ones he used. Try to picture Washington in the little parlor, also known as the music room, doting over his step-granddaughter, Nelly, as she played the English harpsichord. Imagine the future president and gentleman plantation owner at his desk in the study receiving reports from his overseers, or the proud general showing the oil landscapes depicting pastoral views of the Hudson and Potomac rivers on the dining rooms walls to honored guests, such as Marquis de Lafayette or cabinet members such as John Jay, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson.

Of course, the mansion is only one part of a Mount Vernon visit. One can easily spend a few hours walking the grounds, inspecting the detached kitchen, the slave quarters with straw beds and four separate gardens where everything from hyacinths to peonies and Maltese cross grow in spring. The gated tomb of George and Martha and a small museum are also here. Take a peek at the bust in the museum and rest assured that the likeness is as close to exact as could be in those days before photography.

Washington modeled for it live. As he lay down, his head and neck were covered in plaster; straws extended from his nose so he could breathe while the cast was taken. Not exactly the dignified image we have today a founding father, but a human one nonetheless.

Mount Vernon spokesperson Stephanie Brown warns that most visitors are surprised by the size and scope of the estate, and they should allow three hours for a sufficient stay here. Mornings tend to draw large tour groups, but the staff here still suggests an early arrival to ensure that visitors won't be pressed for time. Psst -- a different option for a quick entrance is to arrive around noon, when many visitors are out having lunch.

And about those legends. In a Mount Vernon handout called "Rare Facts: Curious Truths," the rock over the Rappahannock story is seen as plausible, while the cherry tree yarn gets a rousing thumbs down. So what is the reality? As with other tales of American institutions, such as the origin of baseball, wouldn't you rather believe the legend?

[Bumper]

Originally Posted by Critter

Actually he was supposed to have thrown the coin across the Rappahannock River. Confused yet, here is more than you ever wanted to know:

I stand corrected and apologize for my ignorance.

There's obviously no chance this fabled feat will ever be repeated again. Everybody knows a dollar doesn't go anywhere near as far as it used to. (Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk...I kill me!! :p ) I think we should start a movement to change the legend to his having thrown the coin over the Red River. It's a lot easier to spell.

[cja]

Originally Posted by Bumper

I stand corrected and apologize for my ignorance.

There's obviously no chance this fabled feat will ever be repeated again. Everybody knows a dollar doesn't go anywhere near as far as it used to. (Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk...I kill me!! :p ) I think we should start a movement to change the legend to his having thrown the coin over the Red River. It's a lot easier to spell.

Then, instead of being rowed across the Delaware by a bunch of dandies, he could ride across the Red River in style in a Red River Cart, pulled by oxen. This is scary - my high school history is starting to come back to me!