FORUM FUN FEATURE!! You may be a Torontonian

[Bumper]

In the last little while, we've picked on Southerners and Californians. Just to demonstrate that there is no national bias intended, we will now tell you a little bit about folks from Canada's major metropolis. Toronto is our country's largest city, and is known (primarily by Torontonians) to be the centre of the universe. It's not that we question their claim, but how much credibility can you invest with people with the following characteristics:

36 Signs You Might Be a Torontonian

1. You think barbeque is a verb meaning to cook outside.
2. You think Heinz ketchup is spicy.
3. You don’t have any problem pronouncing “Worcestershire sauce” correctly.
4. For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to hash browns.
5. You don’t know what a Twinkie is.
6. You’ve never had grain alcohol.
7. You’ve never, ever, eaten fries and gravy.
8. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
9. You have no idea what a skunk is.
10. Whenever someone tells an off-colour joke about farm animals, it goes over your head.
11. You don’t see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a dog.
12. You’ve never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you’ve seen where during road trips.
13. You don’t have bangs.
14. You would rather vacation in Muskoka cottage country than Canada’s Wonderland.
15. Somebody in your family has been kicked out of a private school.
16. You would rather your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
17. Instead of referring to two or more people as “Y’all,” you call them “You guys,” even if both of them are women.
18. You don’t think Howard Stern has an accent.
19. You have never planned your summer vacation around a county fair.
20. You think more money should go to ground-breaking research at the local university than to pay the salary of the hockey coach.
21. You don’t have at least one can of WD-40 in your house.
22. The last time you smiled was when you prevented somebody from getting off an on-ramp to the freeway.
23. You don’t have any hats in your closet that advertise agricultural chemicals.
24. The farthest west you’ve been is a Tim Horton’s in Windsor.
25. You call binoculars opera glasses.
26. You can’t spit out the car window without pulling over and stopping.
27. You would never wear an applique sweatshirt.
28. You don’t know what applique is.
29. Most of your formative high school sexual experiences took place within the context of a football game.
30. You don’t know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Billy Bob, Bob Bob).
31. You don’t have any doilies, and you certainly don’t know how to make one.
32. You’ve never been to a craft show.
33. You freak out when people on the subway talk to you.
34. You can’t do your laundry without quarters.
35. None of your fur coats are homemade.
36. You don’t have a burning desire to own firearms.

[TAPPY]

Sounds like a bunch of damn yankees to me !!!!! (said with my very best Scarlett accent....were is Trish when I need her)

[Trish]

I'm right he-a, my daw-lin Tappy!

[local8]

My best friend in Montreal tells me the difference between Torontonians and Habitants (aside from the language) is that people in Montreal use the expression TGIF while the people in Toronto use
TGIM(onday).

[Bumper]

Originally Posted by local8

My best friend in Montreal tells me the difference between Torontonians and Habitants (aside from the language) is that people in Montreal use the expression TGIF while the people in Toronto use
TGIM(onday).

Oh, Local, you don't want to get me started on Toronto bashing. It's practically the Canadian national sport. Only marginally less popular than hockey. And they make it so easy, it's almost a shame to participate.

[Shootingstar]

Hey Bumper, for those of us in the REST of Ontario, Toronto bashing is probably more popular than hockey, but your right, they just make it way too easy. Like calling out the army to shovel their snow. They refuse to accept we (in the north) even exist. Every once in awile though...why just yesterday in fact...11/17 gets closed after an accident and the whole country gets cut in half. Hey maybe we should set up a toll booth and raise the $ to build an alternate route.....lord knows it won't come from TO

some folks in this part might consider # 5 & 6 from your list a good breakfast.....

thanks for the list....I can identify with every one of them. But I better watch how much I bash TO as we are flying out of there when we go to Playa and staying with friends on both ends of the trip....might find myself sleeping in the airport....

cathy