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The following is some correspondence which apparently occurred between a well-known Playa del Carmen hotel’s staff and one of its guests.

Dear Maid;

Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-size Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and the other three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank you.

S. Herman
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Dear Room 635

I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the three hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The six bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the three bars I left today because my instructions from management is to leave three soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.

Kathy, Relief Maid
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Dear Maid - I hope you are my regular maid

Apparently, Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening, I found you had added three little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial, so I won’t need those six little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing my teeth, etc. Please remove them.

S. Berman

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Dear Mr. Berman

My day off was last Wednesday, so the relief maid left three hotel soaps, which we are instructed to do by the management. I took the six soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn’t remove the three complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins, and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can be of further assistance.

Your regular maid
Dotty
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Dear Mr. Berman;

The Hotel Manager, Mr. Ryberg, informed me this A.M. that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints, please contact me so that I may give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8 AM and 5 PM. Thank you

Elaine Carman
Housekeeper
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Dear Miss Carman;

It is impossible to contact you by phone, since I leave the hotel on business at 7:45 AM and don’t get back before 5:30 or 6:00 PM. That’s the reason I called Mr. Ryberg last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Ryberg if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another three bars of hotel soap in the medicine chest, along with her regular delivery of three bars on the bathroom shelf. In just five days here, I have accumulated twenty four little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?

S. Berman

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Dear Mr. Berman

Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8 AM and 5 PM. Thank you.

Elaine Carman
Housekeeper
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Dear Mr. Ryberg

My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room, including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me four little Cashmere Bouquets.

S. Berman
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Dear Mr. Berman

I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carman, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave three bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.

Steve Ryberg
Manager
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Dear Miss Carman;

Who the Hell left fifty four little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found fifty four little bars of soap. I don’t want fifty four little bars of Camay. I want my one damned bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have fifty four bars of soap in here? All I want is my bath-size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.

S. Berman

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Dear Mr. Berman

You complained of too much soap in your room, so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Ryberg that all your soap was missing, so I personally returned them. The twenty four Camays which had been taken, and the three Camays which you are supposed to receive daily. I don’t know anything about four Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously, your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps, so she brought twenty four replacement Camays plus the three daily Camays. I don’t know where you got the idea that this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory, which I left in your room.

Elaine Carman
Housekeeper
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Dear Miss Carman;

Just a short note to bring you up to date on my latest soap inventory. As of today, I possess:

• On shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in four stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.

• On Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.

• On bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.

• Inside medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.

• In shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.

• On Northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.

• On Northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3

Please ask Kathy, when she next services my room, to make sure the various stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than four are somewhat unstable, and have a tendency to tip over. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use, and would make an excellent location for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-size Dial, which I am keeping in the hotel vault, in order to avoid further misunderstandings.

S. Berman