|
Class Clown
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Winnipeg, Canada
Posts: 9,707
|
Pick Up Lines
While most of the folks who tend to frequent this forum appear to be of the married or similarly involved persuasion, there are some who are apparently "out there", or "between relationships", or "at liberty", or "available", or whatever is the current term for "still looking" (I'm a little out of touch with the latest nomenclature) Anyway, I put together some of the lines that I've encountered over the years, and wonder if these are still in use, or what is being employed out there these days. Have any of you used any of them, or had them used on you? Feel free to enlighten me, and everybody else, of what has worked for you, or on you.
Pick Up Lines
1. May I flirt with you?
2. Do you mind if I stare at you from up close instead of from across the room?
3. Congratulations. You’ve just been selected as “Most Beautiful Girl In The Room” and the grand prize is a night with me.
4. Do you know what would look good on you? Me!
5. Help the homeless. Take me back to your place.
6. Here’s a quarter. Call your roommate and tell her you won’t be coming home tonight.
7. Hi. I need your help. My mom says if I don’t get a date by tomorrow, she’s putting me up for adoption
8. Hi. My name is “milk.” I’ll do your body good.
9. I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
10. I wonder what our children will look like?
11. I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
12. I’m an organ donor. Need anything?
13. If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?
14. Shall we talk, or continue flirting from a distance?
15. Picture this...you, me, bubble bath, and a bottle of champagne.
16. So what are the chances we can engage in something more than conversation?
17. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
18. There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can’t take them off you.
19. Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
20. You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for...well...certain “shortages?” Well, I don’t even own a car.
21. I don’t know what you think of me, but I hope it’s X-Rated.
22. Do you have room in your life for another friend?
23. Are you going to go out with me, or am I going to have to lie to my diary?
24. Do you believe in the hereafter? Cause if you’re not here after what I’m here after, then you’ll be here after I’m gone,.
25. If you’re afraid you’ll regret this in the morning, we can sleep in until afternoon.
26. You’re on my list of things to do tonight.
27. Do I know you? (No) That’s shame...I’d sure like to
28. Excuse me. I’m putting together a list of people with whom I’d like to have sex, and I need the correct spelling of your last name.
29. So...tell me about yourself...your dreams, your ambitions, your phone number.
30. Are you busy tonight at...let’s see...about 3:00 AM?
31. Can I borrow a quarter? (Why?) So I can call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
32. Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
33. I have only three months to live.
34. I must be lost. I thought paradise was farther south.
35. I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
36. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.
37. If I followed you home, would you keep me?
38. Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?
39. May I take your picture? (Why?) Because I want to be able to show Santa exactly what I want for Christmas.
40. I’m running for President in 2012 and I could sure use your vote. Please write down your phone number and I can give you a call to discuss my platform.
41. Well here I am. What were your other two wishes?
42. I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. I’m going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
43. Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down, so go ahead and say no.
44. What’s a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?
45. Would you like Gin and platonic or would you prefer Scotch and sofa?
46. I’m not actually this tall. I’m sitting on my wallet.
47. Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
48. You’d make a bishop kick out a stained glass window.
49. You should stop drinking. (Why?) Because you’re driving us home.
50. I like shoe laces, lime Jello, bow ties, and motorized wheelchairs. Wanna come back to my place and use all four?
51. You can’t be first, but you could be next.
52. I have a cat. She would really like to meet you.
53. Wanna see a trick I learned in prison?
54. You know it’s girls like you that make me wish I were a lesbian.
55. If I were to say you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
56. If this bar is a meat market, you are definitely the prime rib.
57. Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
58. Nice to meet you. I’m Bob and you’re......gorgeous.
59. Have you been arrested a lot? It must be illegal to be that beautiful.
60. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I’m the only one talking to you.
61. Gee, for a fat girl you don’t sweat much.
62. I’m pretty sure you’re responsible for global warming.
63. Hi, I’m writing a term paper on the finer things in life and I wonder if I could interview you?
64. You are a 9.9999. You’d be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
65. Hey, don’t frown. You never know who might be falling in love with your smile.
66. I may not be the best looking guy here, but handsome is only a light switch away.
67. The drink - $6. The room - $100. The night with you - priceless!
68. My buddies over there bet me I couldn’t start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the place. Want to buy some drinks with their money?
69. Did you happen to find my enormous jar of “Penis Reducing Cream?”
70. If God had a refrigerator, a picture of you would be on it.
71. You’re so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line.
72. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
73. Pardon me, miss. I seem to have lost my phone number...could I have yours?
74. Should I call you in the morning, or nudge you?
75. There’s this movie I wanted to see, and my mom says I can’t go by myself.
76. Good day for weather.
77. Did you invite all of these people? I thought it was just going to be the two of us.
78. Be unique and different. Say yes.
79. Can I buy you a drink, or would you just rather have the money?
80. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
81. Hi. My name is Bob. How do you like me so far?
82. Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.
83. Do you mess around? (No) Would you hold still while I do?
84. Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I’m pretty sure he went into that cheap motel across the street.
85. All this could be yours for one low, low price!
86. Here’s $20. Drink until I’m really good looking. Let me know if you need more money.
87. Hi, can I buy you a Mercedes?
88. Want to see my collection of filthy gestures and vulgar innuendos?
89. Greetings and salivations.
90. I want you to have my children. In fact, you can have them right now, they’re out in the car.
91. I’m the one responsible for all those crop circles in England.
92. Chicks dig me. I wear coloured underwear.
93. Hello, Susie. Your mom couldn’t make it this afternoon, so she asked me to pick you up. My, what a pretty dress.
94. Is it that cold in here, or are you smuggling Tic Tacs?
95. Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
96. Wanna dance? (No) Oh, c’mon, lower your standards a little. I did.
97. Excuse me but I lost my Teddy bear. Would you sleep with me tonight?
98. Hi, my name’s Bob. Remember it. You’ll be screaming it later tonight.
99. Bond. James Bond.
100. I love the way you move...like butter on a bald monkey. (I have no idea what that means...but I just love the imagery!)
101. Excuse me, but I just noticed you noticing me and I wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
102. I’m going to have sex with you tonight, no matter what, so you might as well be there.
103. You’ve been very naughty. Go to my room.
104. Are you here alone, or am I going to have to kill someone?
105. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
106. Towards what end does a substantially empathetic demoiselle such as yourself frequent such a locus as this?
107. You know what? Your eyes are the same colour as my Porsche.
108. Are you Natasha, my contact?
109. Excuse me, but I’m lost. Could you give me directions to wherever you’re going?
110. Do you think it’s possible we might have a mutual friend who could introduce us?
111. Pardon me, but do you speak Klingon?
112. Good news...the test results were negative.
113. Are you here to meet a nice guy, or will I do?
114. I’d marry your cat to get into your family.
115. I’m feeling sort of insecure right now. Can I have a hug?
116. My God...I thought I was gay...until I met you.
117. Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Somebody said you were looking for me?
118. The man of your dreams was on his way, but I beat the crap out of him so I could get here first.
119. No, you don’t understand. The terrorists have released this toxin. I may BE the last man on earth!
120. Is he your boyfriend? I think you can do better than that.
121. You look better and better every day, and tonight you look like tomorrow.
122. What a coincidence. You want to be an actress and I have a video camera.
123. Let’s go to my place and do all the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyway.
124. We shouldn’t waste things. Let’s use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
__________________

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a pristine, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting "Holy Shit...what a ride!!"
|