A big city Toronto lawyer went duck hunting in rural Western Canada. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field, on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”
The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you’re not welcome on it.”
The indignant lawyer said, “I’m one of the best trial lawyers in all of Canada, and if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things around here. We settle small disagreements like this with the Prairie Three Kick Rule.”
The lawyer asked, “What’s the Prairie Three Kick Rule?”
The farmer replied, “Well, first I kick you three times, and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s crotch and dropped him to his knees. His second kick almost wiped the man’s nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly in the dirt when the farmer’s third kick to his kidney nearly caused him to pass out in agony. After writhing in pain for some time, the lawyer called upon all his strength and managed to get to his feet, and said, “Okay, you old coot, now it’s my turn.”
The old farmer smiled and said, “Naw, I give up. You can have the duck.”