Regulation for the Hunting and Harvesting of Attorneys
370.01 - Any person with an in-province rodent or snake hunting licence may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreation and sport (non-commercial) purposes.
370.02 - Taking of attorneys with traps or dead falls is permitted. The use of currency as bait. however, is prohibited.
370.03 - The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless the vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside, and the vehicle should proceed immediately to the nearest carwash.
370.04 - It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a power boat, helicopter, or airplane.
370.05 - It is unlawful to shout, “WHIPLASH!”, “AMBULANCE!”, or “FREE SCOTCH!”, for the purpose of baiting attorneys.
370.06 - It is unlawful to hunt attorneys with 100 yards of a BMW, Mercedes, or Porsche dealership, except on Wednesday afternoons.
370.07 - It is unlawful to hunt attorneys with in 200 yards of country clubs, courtrooms, law libraries, hospitals, health clubs, or brothels.
370.08 - If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have a licence to hunt, trap, or possess the same.
370.09 - It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter, accident victim, physician, chiropractor, or tax accountant, for the purpose of attracting attorneys.
370.10 -
Bag and Possession Limits per Day
Yellow-bellied sidewinders - 2
Two-faced tortfeasors - 1
Back-stabbing divorce litigators - 3
Horn-rimmed cut-throats - 2
Minutiae-advocating dirtbags - 4
Honest Attorneys - Protected - Endangered Species (believed extinct)