Poetry Challenge!!

**Bumper** · 08-17-2004

Poetry Challenge

The following is a bit of verse composed by tstar. As you can see, it has its roots in what is likely the most familiar and oft-corrupted pieces of rhyme in the English language. His intention is that all you frustrated poets out there give free rein to your creative talents, and put your own mark on his composition by changing it, verse by verse, or in its entirety. He will be away enjoying his holiday in Playa while this transformation takes place, but intends to monitor the progress of the undertaking, and has vowed to submit daily trip reports during the duration of his trip. Michael has asked that I post the poem for him, in his absence, and solicit your valued input. Please send me your proposed changes by way of the PM system, and I will see that the alterations are made, stanza by creative and inspired stanza, by editing the thread. You are invited to monitor the mutation of this bit of doggerel by keeping an eye on the initial post. So, there’s your challenge. A test of this forum’s inhabitant’s creativity, imagination, originality, inventiveness, and vision. Let those amongst you who are longest in nerve, but perhaps shortest in talent, cast the first stone. Who will pick up the gauntlet?

Send me your PM, specifying which verse - by number - you would like to replace, and I will see that the amendment is made. Bear in mind that your modification may well be short-lived, if some other poet submits a subsequent revision, so your celebrity may be fleeting. What was it Andy Warhol said about 30 seconds of fame? Come along, faithful Forum Folk, get those fertile imaginations working and those artistic juices flowing.

1. T’was four months beforePlaya, and all through the suitcase,
Was sand from my last trip, which left little space.
The flip flops and sunscreen were ready to go
Alas, with four months left, the wait would be slow.
(Squish 08-21-04)

2. Now Tsar's in Playa, Deseo's home base,
Flip flops on their feet and a smile on their face,
Tequila, mojitos, rum punches a plenty
And surely a couple shrimp tacos (or twenty)
(Michele 8-19-04)

3. When out from the Barrel there came such a squealin',
Young ladies with Cuervo, you know what they're feelin'.
Pedestrians darted and then started to dash.
Off came halters and T-shirts, they started to flash.
(Rick Muldoon 08-22-04)

4. The bottle was dry, not a drop to swallow.
Leading the way to the guilty borracho.
With a smirk on his face, he laughed and he cheered,
"I'm from San Marcos, Texas, and I'M NOT SKEERED!"
(Denisea 08-21-04)

5. With Leppy and L'il G, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be a trick.
More devilish pranksters could not be to blame,
Or so I thought, until they called them by name.
(Denisea 08-21-04)

6. Now Critter, Now Bumper! SunSeeker! and Roni!
Come on Squish! Greek2Me! Tyra! and Seakony!
To the beach at Playacar, to play Bucky Ball.
Now vamanos! Vamanos! Vamanos all!
(Denisea 08-22-04)

7. With collapsible coolers and drink mugs in hand,
They made their way onto the sugar white sand.
The boys, too distracted by boobs on the beach,
The ladies knew surely a "win" was in reach.
(Michele 08-22-04)

8. Once we unpacked, down the stairs we flew,
And we said to ourselves, "What shall we do?"
Should we explore the beaches, and swim willy-nilly,
Or eat till we're bursting and drink ourselves silly?
(SunKneeMarie 08-23-04)

9. The Beer Bucket and Blue Parrot, we're walking right past.
I need a workout fix...and I need it fast.
To max out my biceps, my glutes and my quads.
I know it's vacation - but I can't lose this bod!
(SunKneeMarie 08-22-04)

10. So back to the room for a roll in the hay.
Take a hot shower and it's round two for the day.
If they keep at that pace, like Anna & James,
Might find themselves picking their own baby names.
(baylainphilly 08-23-04)

Critter · 08-17-2004

As one who knows his limitations my sole contribution to this thread will be to wish all the aspiring Longfellows, "good luck".

I will now sit back and enjoy the modifications.

TAPPY · 08-17-2004

he did really REALLY well on this one...it would be hard to improve

**Bumper** · 08-19-2004

So...wassup with you guys? Not a single suggested change or improvement to tstar's poetry? I can scarcely credit that!! Mind you, as has been noted, Michael did a heckuva job on the original product, and any alteration might be looked on in the same light as drawing a mustache on the Mona Lisa, but I'm having a difficult time believing absolutely nobody in this artistic group has anything to contribute. Has everyone's poetic muse deserted them?

**tommy** · 08-19-2004

Bumper...its just to darn good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**denisea** · 08-19-2004

Kind of hard to improve on what's already a masterpiece.

cuffedlinks · 08-19-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by denisea

Kind of hard to improve on what's already a masterpiece.

THAT'S what I said to Michael (tstar) in a PM yesterday...hope he doesn't feel badly because we aren't all jumping in with new verse...

I have a hard enough time NOT putting my foot in my mouth...let alone when I'm trying to rhyme or be consistent with metre....

Anyway...better or not...I think tstar would like us to contribute a verse or two...which goes to Bumper prior to public release...

Mikey · 08-19-2004

Come on guys PLEASE just give it a shot. Thanks for the kind words about the poem but somebody has got to have something. Someone is standing over my back at the moment so I have to get off but I will send a change later to get things started.

Michele · 08-19-2004

Here we go guys.......

Now Tstars in Playa, Deseo's home base,
Flip flops on their feet and a smile on their face,
Tequillas, mohitos, rum punches a plenty
And surely a couple shrimp tacos (or twenty)

Critter · 08-19-2004

Yeah a ground breaker, way to go Michele

**Bumper** · 08-19-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michele

Here we go guys.......

Now Tstars in Playa, Deseo's home base,
Flip flops on their feet and a smile on their face,
Tequillas, mohitos, rum punches a plenty
And surely a couple shrimp tacos (or twenty)

Well done, Michele. As per the instructions, please advise which verse are you looking to replace.

Beachnutt · 08-19-2004

No improvement necessary in my opinion! How's the weather tstar?

Michele · 08-19-2004

Let's say verse two so someone can come up with verse one...perhaps about the trip down?

Mikey · 08-19-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beachnutt719

No improvement necessary in my opinion! How's the weather tstar?

The weather is Suny and Hot. Its perfect. Come on down!

Mikey · 08-19-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michele

Let's say verse two so someone can come up with verse one...perhaps about the trip down?

Way to go Michele. Great Job! Maybe its like when you are at a dance and it just takes one person to get everyone going.

08-17-2004	#1 (permalink)
Bumper Class Clown Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Winnipeg, Canada Posts: 11,463	Poetry Challenge!! Poetry Challenge The following is a bit of verse composed by tstar. As you can see, it has its roots in what is likely the most familiar and oft-corrupted pieces of rhyme in the English language. His intention is that all you frustrated poets out there give free rein to your creative talents, and put your own mark on his composition by changing it, verse by verse, or in its entirety. He will be away enjoying his holiday in Playa while this transformation takes place, but intends to monitor the progress of the undertaking, and has vowed to submit daily trip reports during the duration of his trip. Michael has asked that I post the poem for him, in his absence, and solicit your valued input. Please send me your proposed changes by way of the PM system, and I will see that the alterations are made, stanza by creative and inspired stanza, by editing the thread. You are invited to monitor the mutation of this bit of doggerel by keeping an eye on the initial post. So, there’s your challenge. A test of this forum’s inhabitant’s creativity, imagination, originality, inventiveness, and vision. Let those amongst you who are longest in nerve, but perhaps shortest in talent, cast the first stone. Who will pick up the gauntlet? Send me your PM, specifying which verse - by number - you would like to replace, and I will see that the amendment is made. Bear in mind that your modification may well be short-lived, if some other poet submits a subsequent revision, so your celebrity may be fleeting. What was it Andy Warhol said about 30 seconds of fame? Come along, faithful Forum Folk, get those fertile imaginations working and those artistic juices flowing. 1. T’was four months beforePlaya, and all through the suitcase, Was sand from my last trip, which left little space. The flip flops and sunscreen were ready to go Alas, with four months left, the wait would be slow. (Squish 08-21-04) 2. Now Tsar's in Playa, Deseo's home base, Flip flops on their feet and a smile on their face, Tequila, mojitos, rum punches a plenty And surely a couple shrimp tacos (or twenty) (Michele 8-19-04) 3. When out from the Barrel there came such a squealin', Young ladies with Cuervo, you know what they're feelin'. Pedestrians darted and then started to dash. Off came halters and T-shirts, they started to flash. (Rick Muldoon 08-22-04) 4. The bottle was dry, not a drop to swallow. Leading the way to the guilty borracho. With a smirk on his face, he laughed and he cheered, "I'm from San Marcos, Texas, and I'M NOT SKEERED!" (Denisea 08-21-04) 5. With Leppy and L'il G, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be a trick. More devilish pranksters could not be to blame, Or so I thought, until they called them by name. (Denisea 08-21-04) 6. Now Critter, Now Bumper! SunSeeker! and Roni! Come on Squish! Greek2Me! Tyra! and Seakony! To the beach at Playacar, to play Bucky Ball. Now vamanos! Vamanos! Vamanos all! (Denisea 08-22-04) 7. With collapsible coolers and drink mugs in hand, They made their way onto the sugar white sand. The boys, too distracted by boobs on the beach, The ladies knew surely a "win" was in reach. (Michele 08-22-04) 8. Once we unpacked, down the stairs we flew, And we said to ourselves, "What shall we do?" Should we explore the beaches, and swim willy-nilly, Or eat till we're bursting and drink ourselves silly? (SunKneeMarie 08-23-04) 9. The Beer Bucket and Blue Parrot, we're walking right past. I need a workout fix...and I need it fast. To max out my biceps, my glutes and my quads. I know it's vacation - but I can't lose this bod! (SunKneeMarie 08-22-04) 10. So back to the room for a roll in the hay. Take a hot shower and it's round two for the day. If they keep at that pace, like Anna & James, Might find themselves picking their own baby names. (baylainphilly 08-23-04) __________________ Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a pristine, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting "Holy Shit...what a ride!!" Last edited by Bumper; 08-23-2004 at 08:40 PM..

08-17-2004	#2 (permalink)
Critter añejo Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Cerca de Washington DC Posts: 3,343	As one who knows his limitations my sole contribution to this thread will be to wish all the aspiring Longfellows, "good luck". I will now sit back and enjoy the modifications.

08-17-2004	#3 (permalink)
TAPPY añejo Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Louisiana Posts: 16,898	he did really REALLY well on this one...it would be hard to improve

08-19-2004	#4 (permalink)
Bumper Class Clown Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Winnipeg, Canada Posts: 11,463	So...wassup with you guys? Not a single suggested change or improvement to tstar's poetry? I can scarcely credit that!! Mind you, as has been noted, Michael did a heckuva job on the original product, and any alteration might be looked on in the same light as drawing a mustache on the Mona Lisa, but I'm having a difficult time believing absolutely nobody in this artistic group has anything to contribute. Has everyone's poetic muse deserted them?

08-19-2004	#5 (permalink)
tommy Rastaman Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Austin Tx Posts: 12,822 Blog Entries: 5	Bumper...its just to darn good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

08-19-2004	#6 (permalink)
denisea Forum Goddess Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: On the road to ruins... Posts: 7,033	Kind of hard to improve on what's already a masterpiece.

08-19-2004	#8 (permalink)
Mikey he likes it! Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 19,172	Come on guys PLEASE just give it a shot. Thanks for the kind words about the poem but somebody has got to have something. Someone is standing over my back at the moment so I have to get off but I will send a change later to get things started.

08-19-2004	#9 (permalink)
Michele añejo Merchant Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Playa del Carmen, QR, MX Posts: 3,496	Here we go guys....... Now Tstars in Playa, Deseo's home base, Flip flops on their feet and a smile on their face, Tequillas, mohitos, rum punches a plenty And surely a couple shrimp tacos (or twenty)

08-19-2004	#10 (permalink)
Critter añejo Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Cerca de Washington DC Posts: 3,343	Yeah a ground breaker, way to go Michele

08-19-2004	#12 (permalink)
Beachnutt añejo Join Date: May 2004 Location: Upstate New York Posts: 4,092	No improvement necessary in my opinion! How's the weather tstar?

08-19-2004	#13 (permalink)
Michele añejo Merchant Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Playa del Carmen, QR, MX Posts: 3,496	Let's say verse two so someone can come up with verse one...perhaps about the trip down?

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