FORUM FUN FEATURE!! Country Songs

**Bumper** · 08-29-2004

With the current popularity of country music, I felt the following two items might be of interest. The first is a list of actual counry song titles, and the second gives you the opportunity to construct a country song of your very own. I hope you enjoy them.

The following are ACTUAL titles of country songs:

Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In Bed
The Shades Of Night Were Falling Fast, But I Got A quick Look Anyway
Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth ‘Cause I’m Kissing You Goodbye
Her Teeth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure
How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?
I Can’t Get Over You, So Why Don’t You Get Under Me?
Meet Me By The Rock Crusher, Honey, I’m Always A Little Boulder There
I Don’t Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
I Got In At 2 With A 10, And Woke Up At 10 With A 2
I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except For Mine
I Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don’t Run, So I Figure I Got An Even Deal.
I Keep Forgettin’ I Forgot About You
I’m Gonna Build Me A Bar, In The Back Of My Car, And Drive Myself To Drink
I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim’s Gettin’ Better
I Wouldn’t Take That Gal To A Dogfight, Cause I’m Afraid She’d Win
I’ll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let’s Honeymoon Tonight
I’m So Miserable Without You, That It’s Like Havin’ You Here
I Got Tears In My Ears, From Lying On My Back, While I Cry Over You
If I Can’t Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
If I’d Shot You When I Wanted To, I’d Be Out By Now
Mama Get A Hammer, There’s A Fly On Papa’s Head
My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don’t Love You, Jesus
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
Please Bypass This Heart
She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
Drop Kick Me Jesus, Through The Goal Posts Of Life
You’re The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

Beachnutt719 · 08-29-2004

Scary but I actually recognize some of those.

**Bumper** · 08-29-2004

Do-It-Yourself Country Song Kit

I met her___(1)____ ___(2)____. I can still recall___(3)____ she wore.
1. on the highway, in Sheboygan, outside Fresno, at a truck stop, on probation,in a jail cell, in a nightmare, incognito, in the Stone Age, in a tree house, in a gay bar

2. in September, at McDonalds, ridin’ shotgun, wrestlin’ gators, all hunched over, poppin’ uppers, sort of pregnant, with joggers, stoned on oatmeal, with Jay Leno, dead all over

3. that purple dress, that little hat, that burlap bra, those training pants, the stolen goods, that plastic nose, the Kerry / Edwards button, the neon sign, that creepy smile, the hearing aid, the boxer shorts

She was ___(4)____ ___(5)___

4. sobbin’ at the toll booth, drinkin’ Doctor Pepper, weighted down with Twinkies, breakin’ out with acne, crawlin’ through the prairie, smellin’ kinda funny, crashin’ through the guard rail, chewin’ on a hang nail, talkin’ in Swahili, drownin’ in the quicksand, slurpin’ up linguini

5. in the twilight, but I loved her, by the off ramp, near Poughkeepsie, with her cobra, when she shot me, on her elbows, with Led Zeppelin, with Miss Piggy, with a wet back, in her muu-muu

and I knew ___(6)___. ___(7)___ I’d ___(8)_____ forever.

6. no guy would ever love her more, that she would be an easy score, she’d bought her dentures in a store, that she would be a crashing bore, I’d never rate her more than “4", they’d hate her guts in Baltimore, it was a raven - nothing more, we really lost the last World War, I’d have to scrape her off the floor, what strong deodorants were for, that she was rotten to the core, that I would upchuck on the floor

7. I promised her, I knew deep down, She asked me if, I told her shrink, The judge declared, My Pooh Bear said, I shrieked in pain, The painters knew, The Klingon said, My hamster thought, The blood test showed, Her rabbi said

8. stay with her, warp her mind, swear off booze, change my sex, punch her out, live off her, have my rash, stay a dwarf, hate her dog, pick my nose, play “Go Fish”, salivate

She said to me __(9)__. But who’d have thought she’d _(10)_ _(11)_.

9. our love would never die, there was no other guy, man wasn’t meant to fly, that Nixon didn’t lie, her basset hound was shy, that Rolaids made her high, she’d have a Swiss on rye, she loved my one blue eye, her brother’s name was Hy, she liked “Spy vs Spy”, that birthdays made her cry, she couldn’t stand my tie

10. run off, wind up, boogie, yodel, sky dive, turn green, freak out, blast off, make it, black out, bobsled, grovel

11. with my best friend, in my Edsel, on a surfboard, on “The Great Race”, with her dentist, on her workmate, with a robot, with no clothes on, at her health club, in her Maytag, with her guru, while in labour

___(12)___ goodbye.

12. You’d think at least she’d have said, She told her dumb friend Grace to say, I can now kiss my credit cards, I guess I was too smashed to say, I watched her melt away and sobbed, She fell beneath the wheels and cried, She sent a hired thug to say, She freaked out on the lawn and screamed, I pushed her off the bridge and waved, But that’s the way the pygmies say, She sealed me in the vault and smirked

**sctx** · 08-29-2004

Now Bump, you can't have a true country song without a pickup truck and a dog. Everyone knows a true redneck has more pictures of his truck and dog than he does of his wife and kids

**Bumper** · 08-29-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by sctx

Now Bump, you can't have a true country song without a pickup truck and a dog. Everyone knows a true redneck has more pictures of his truck and dog than he does of his wife and kids

No doubt due to the striking family resemblance. Mind you, those dogs of yours are mighty handsome, though they aren't even in the same league as the lovely lady who puts up with you.

**SunKneeMarie** · 08-29-2004

I also like "You Ain't Much Fun Since I Quit Drinkin'" and "Did I Shave My Legs For This?" from a few years back.

One of my newest favorites is called "I Ain't Drinkin' Anymore" (with the country twist being the last line of the refrain: "...but I ain't drinkin' any less!")

TAPPY · 08-29-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by sctx

Now Bump, you can't have a true country song without a pickup truck and a dog. Everyone knows a true redneck has more pictures of his truck and dog than he does of his wife and kids

a Perfect country song has gotta have something in it about
Momma, getting drunk, or pickup trucks, and trains.....

hey didnt some one write a song about that very thing

Beachnutt719 · 08-29-2004

The last verse to " You Don't Have to Call Me Darlin', Darlin' ".

" I was drunk the day my Momma got out of prison. And I went to pick her up in the rain. But before I could get to the station in my pick-up truck; she got runned over by a damned old train. "

mckinzie · 08-29-2004

She broke my jaw so I cracked her #%#*&
by Snookie II and the Band

tbone · 08-29-2004

how bout,
thank god and greyhound you're gone.

**SunKneeMarie** · 08-29-2004

And a few more for good measure....

All the Guys that Turn Me On Turn Me Down

At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self Service Pump

Billy Broke My Heart at Walgreens and I Cried All the Way to Sears

Come out of the Wheatfield Nellie, You're Going Against the Grain

Get Off the Table, Mabel (The Two Dollars is for the Beer)

I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me.

How Can A Whiskey That's 6 Years Old Whup A Man That's 33?

I Knew I'd Hit Rock Bottom When I Woke Up On Top Of You.

I Was Looking Back to See If You Were Looking Back to See If I Was Looking Back to See if You Were Looking Back at Me

I Wish I Were A Lesbian

I Wouldn't Take You To A Dog Fight Even If I Thought You Could Win.

I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy.

If My Nose Was Running Money, Honey, I'd Blow It All On You

You Want to Keep the Beer Real Cold, Put it Next to My Ex-Wife's Heart

If she hadn't Been So Good Lookin' I Might Have Seen the Train

I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised.

It Takes Me All Night Long To Do What I Used To Do All Night Long.

She Offered Her Honor, He Honored Her Offer, and All Through the Night It Was Honor and Offer

We Used To Kiss On The Lips, But It's All Over Now

mnlakes56 · 08-30-2004

With songs like that, Im glad im still a head banger

**Bumper** · 08-30-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by mnlakes56

With songs like that, Im glad im still a head banger

Ah, the innocence of youth. I presume it's the lyrics of these country gems you object to, Lakes? There is that to be said about your head banger "music". The lyrics are rarely a consideration, since they're generally pretty much unintelligible...mostly, and the "musical" component too frequently resembles the sound of somebody throwing a galvanized garbage can full of empty beer bottles down a steel fire escape.

mnlakes56 · 08-30-2004

Ah,
Now dont be narrow minded, Im 47 and jam with the best. its just too much crying, whining, beer spilling going on in country........ as far as my music,who needs to listen to the words, they are not telling me anything I didnt know already...also this post was just MY view and not posted to cause trouble......why did you read THAT into my message?

**Bumper** · 08-30-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by mnlakes56

Ah,
Now dont be narrow minded, Im 47 and jam with the best. its just too much crying, whining, beer spilling going on in country........ as far as my music,who needs to listen to the words, they are not telling me anything I didnt know already...also this post was just MY view and not posted to cause trouble......why did you read THAT into my message?

I'm not narrow minded, Lakes. Truth be known, I don't claim to be in any kind of mind - narrow, broad, or right. And I didn't think you were causing trouble at all, just saw an opporknockity to put my jocular oar in. You can try to cause trouble if you like, but I think you'll generally find few who are willing to take you up on it, and it's going to be pretty tough to get much of a scrap going. We tend to be pretty relaxed in the off topic forum, and rarely take offence or umbrage at anything. All opinions and stripes are welcome. If they can put up with me on an on-going basis around here...obviously the bar is set pretty low. Head banging does have an upside too. It feels so good when you stop, or so I'm led to believe.

08-29-2004	#1 (permalink)
Bumper Class Clown Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Winnipeg, Canada Posts: 9,113	FORUM FUN FEATURE!! Country Songs With the current popularity of country music, I felt the following two items might be of interest. The first is a list of actual counry song titles, and the second gives you the opportunity to construct a country song of your very own. I hope you enjoy them. The following are ACTUAL titles of country songs: Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In Bed The Shades Of Night Were Falling Fast, But I Got A quick Look Anyway Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth ‘Cause I’m Kissing You Goodbye Her Teeth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away? I Can’t Get Over You, So Why Don’t You Get Under Me? Meet Me By The Rock Crusher, Honey, I’m Always A Little Boulder There I Don’t Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling I Got In At 2 With A 10, And Woke Up At 10 With A 2 I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except For Mine I Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don’t Run, So I Figure I Got An Even Deal. I Keep Forgettin’ I Forgot About You I’m Gonna Build Me A Bar, In The Back Of My Car, And Drive Myself To Drink I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim’s Gettin’ Better I Wouldn’t Take That Gal To A Dogfight, Cause I’m Afraid She’d Win I’ll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let’s Honeymoon Tonight I’m So Miserable Without You, That It’s Like Havin’ You Here I Got Tears In My Ears, From Lying On My Back, While I Cry Over You If I Can’t Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You If I’d Shot You When I Wanted To, I’d Be Out By Now Mama Get A Hammer, There’s A Fly On Papa’s Head My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don’t Love You, Jesus My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him Please Bypass This Heart She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger Drop Kick Me Jesus, Through The Goal Posts Of Life You’re The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly __________________ Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a pristine, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting "Holy Shit...what a ride!!"

08-29-2004	#3 (permalink)
Bumper Class Clown Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Winnipeg, Canada Posts: 9,113	Do-It-Yourself Country Song Kit I met her___(1)____ ___(2)____. I can still recall___(3)____ she wore. 1. on the highway, in Sheboygan, outside Fresno, at a truck stop, on probation,in a jail cell, in a nightmare, incognito, in the Stone Age, in a tree house, in a gay bar 2. in September, at McDonalds, ridin’ shotgun, wrestlin’ gators, all hunched over, poppin’ uppers, sort of pregnant, with joggers, stoned on oatmeal, with Jay Leno, dead all over 3. that purple dress, that little hat, that burlap bra, those training pants, the stolen goods, that plastic nose, the Kerry / Edwards button, the neon sign, that creepy smile, the hearing aid, the boxer shorts She was ___(4)____ ___(5)___ 4. sobbin’ at the toll booth, drinkin’ Doctor Pepper, weighted down with Twinkies, breakin’ out with acne, crawlin’ through the prairie, smellin’ kinda funny, crashin’ through the guard rail, chewin’ on a hang nail, talkin’ in Swahili, drownin’ in the quicksand, slurpin’ up linguini 5. in the twilight, but I loved her, by the off ramp, near Poughkeepsie, with her cobra, when she shot me, on her elbows, with Led Zeppelin, with Miss Piggy, with a wet back, in her muu-muu and I knew ___(6)___. ___(7)___ I’d ___(8)_____ forever. 6. no guy would ever love her more, that she would be an easy score, she’d bought her dentures in a store, that she would be a crashing bore, I’d never rate her more than “4", they’d hate her guts in Baltimore, it was a raven - nothing more, we really lost the last World War, I’d have to scrape her off the floor, what strong deodorants were for, that she was rotten to the core, that I would upchuck on the floor 7. I promised her, I knew deep down, She asked me if, I told her shrink, The judge declared, My Pooh Bear said, I shrieked in pain, The painters knew, The Klingon said, My hamster thought, The blood test showed, Her rabbi said 8. stay with her, warp her mind, swear off booze, change my sex, punch her out, live off her, have my rash, stay a dwarf, hate her dog, pick my nose, play “Go Fish”, salivate She said to me __(9)__. But who’d have thought she’d _(10)_ _(11)_. 9. our love would never die, there was no other guy, man wasn’t meant to fly, that Nixon didn’t lie, her basset hound was shy, that Rolaids made her high, she’d have a Swiss on rye, she loved my one blue eye, her brother’s name was Hy, she liked “Spy vs Spy”, that birthdays made her cry, she couldn’t stand my tie 10. run off, wind up, boogie, yodel, sky dive, turn green, freak out, blast off, make it, black out, bobsled, grovel 11. with my best friend, in my Edsel, on a surfboard, on “The Great Race”, with her dentist, on her workmate, with a robot, with no clothes on, at her health club, in her Maytag, with her guru, while in labour ___(12)___ goodbye. 12. You’d think at least she’d have said, She told her dumb friend Grace to say, I can now kiss my credit cards, I guess I was too smashed to say, I watched her melt away and sobbed, She fell beneath the wheels and cried, She sent a hired thug to say, She freaked out on the lawn and screamed, I pushed her off the bridge and waved, But that’s the way the pygmies say, She sealed me in the vault and smirked Last edited by Bumper : 08-29-2004 at 04:57 PM.

08-29-2004	#9 (permalink)
mckinzie lightweight Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Highland Village,Tx (Kinz Standard Time) Posts: 13,551	Actual title songs She broke my jaw so I cracked her #%#*& by Snookie II and the Band

08-29-2004	#11 (permalink)
SunKneeMarie character encapsulator Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 25,395	And a few more for good measure.... All the Guys that Turn Me On Turn Me Down At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self Service Pump Billy Broke My Heart at Walgreens and I Cried All the Way to Sears Come out of the Wheatfield Nellie, You're Going Against the Grain Get Off the Table, Mabel (The Two Dollars is for the Beer) I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me. How Can A Whiskey That's 6 Years Old Whup A Man That's 33? I Knew I'd Hit Rock Bottom When I Woke Up On Top Of You. I Was Looking Back to See If You Were Looking Back to See If I Was Looking Back to See if You Were Looking Back at Me I Wish I Were A Lesbian I Wouldn't Take You To A Dog Fight Even If I Thought You Could Win. I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy. If My Nose Was Running Money, Honey, I'd Blow It All On You You Want to Keep the Beer Real Cold, Put it Next to My Ex-Wife's Heart If she hadn't Been So Good Lookin' I Might Have Seen the Train I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised. It Takes Me All Night Long To Do What I Used To Do All Night Long. She Offered Her Honor, He Honored Her Offer, and All Through the Night It Was Honor and Offer We Used To Kiss On The Lips, But It's All Over Now Last edited by SunKneeMarie : 08-29-2004 at 11:25 PM.

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08-29-2004	#2 (permalink)
Beachnutt719 añejo Join Date: May 2004 Location: Upstate New York Posts: 3,971	Scary but I actually recognize some of those.

08-29-2004	#4 (permalink)
sctx Fan of confusion Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Body in San Marcos Tx....Tankah in my mind Posts: 26,048	Now Bump, you can't have a true country song without a pickup truck and a dog. Everyone knows a true redneck has more pictures of his truck and dog than he does of his wife and kids

08-29-2004	#6 (permalink)
SunKneeMarie character encapsulator Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 25,395	I also like "You Ain't Much Fun Since I Quit Drinkin'" and "Did I Shave My Legs For This?" from a few years back. One of my newest favorites is called "I Ain't Drinkin' Anymore" (with the country twist being the last line of the refrain: "...but I ain't drinkin' any less!")

08-29-2004	#8 (permalink)
Beachnutt719 añejo Join Date: May 2004 Location: Upstate New York Posts: 3,971	The last verse to " You Don't Have to Call Me Darlin', Darlin' ". " I was drunk the day my Momma got out of prison. And I went to pick her up in the rain. But before I could get to the station in my pick-up truck; she got runned over by a damned old train. "

08-29-2004	#10 (permalink)
tbone way into it Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada Posts: 177	how bout, thank god and greyhound you're gone.

08-30-2004	#12 (permalink)
mnlakes56 beachaholic Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Just N of mpls Posts: 344	With songs like that, Im glad im still a head banger

08-30-2004	#14 (permalink)
mnlakes56 beachaholic Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Just N of mpls Posts: 344	Ah, Now dont be narrow minded, Im 47 and jam with the best. its just too much crying, whining, beer spilling going on in country........ as far as my music,who needs to listen to the words, they are not telling me anything I didnt know already...also this post was just MY view and not posted to cause trouble......why did you read THAT into my message?

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