FORUM FUN FEATURE!! Stages of Life

**Bumper** · 09-04-2004

Tidbits like this will generally get a rise out of you guys, so here goes...

The Female Stages of Life

AGE DRINK
17 Wine Coolers
25 White Wine
35 Red Wine
48 Dom Perignon
66 Shot of Canadian Club with an Ensure chaser

AGE EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATE
17 Need to wash my hair
25 Need to wash and condition my hair
35 Need to colour my hair
48 Need to have Francois colour my hair
66 Need to have Francois colour my wig

AGE FAVOURITE SPORT
17 Shopping
25 Shopping
35 Shopping
48 Shopping
66 Shopping

AGE PREFERRED DRUG
17 SHOPPING
25 Shopping
35 Shopping
48 Shopping
66 Shopping

AGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 Burger King
25 Free meal
35 A diamond
48 A bigger diamond
66 Home alone

AGE FAVOURITE FANTASY
17 Tall, dark and handsome
25 Tall, dark and handsome, with money
35 Tall, dark and handsome, with money and a brain
48 A man with hair
66 A man

AGE HOUSE PET
17 Muffy the cat
25 Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the cat
35 Irish setter and Muffy the cat
48 Children from his first marriage and Muffy the cat
66 Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs Muffy the cat

AGE WHAT’S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17 17
25 25
35 35
48 48
66 66

AGE IDEAL DATE
17 He offers to pay
25 He pays
35 He cooks breakfast the next morning
48 He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
66 He can chew breakfast

The Male Stages of Life

AGE DRINK
17 Beer
25 Beer
35 Vodka
48 Double vodka
66 Maalox

AGE SEDUCTION LINE
17 My parents are away for the weekend
25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend
35 My fiancee is away for the weekend
48 My wife is away for the weekend
66 My second wife is dead

AGE FAVOURITE SPORT
17 Sex
25 Sex
35 Sex
48 Sex
66 Napping

AGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 Tongue
25 Breakfast
35 She didn’t set back my therapy
48 I didn’t have to meet her kids
66 Got home alive

AGE FAVOURITE FANTASY
17 Getting to third base
25 Airplane sex
35 Menage a trois
48 Taking the company public
66 Swiss maid / Nazi love slave

AGE HOUSE PET
17 Roaches
25 Stoned-out college roommate
35 Irish setter
48 Children from her first marriage
66 Barbi

AGE WHAT’s THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17 25
25 35
35 48
48 66
66 17

AGE IDEAL DATE
17 Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in
25 Split the cheque, before we go back to my place
35 Just come over
48 Just come over and cook
66 Sex in the corporate jet on the way to Vegas

mckinzie · 09-04-2004

That was pretty good Bump

09-04-2004	#1 (permalink)
Bumper Class Clown Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Winnipeg, Canada Posts: 9,213	FORUM FUN FEATURE!! Stages of Life Tidbits like this will generally get a rise out of you guys, so here goes... The Female Stages of Life AGE DRINK 17 Wine Coolers 25 White Wine 35 Red Wine 48 Dom Perignon 66 Shot of Canadian Club with an Ensure chaser AGE EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATE 17 Need to wash my hair 25 Need to wash and condition my hair 35 Need to colour my hair 48 Need to have Francois colour my hair 66 Need to have Francois colour my wig AGE FAVOURITE SPORT 17 Shopping 25 Shopping 35 Shopping 48 Shopping 66 Shopping AGE PREFERRED DRUG 17 SHOPPING 25 Shopping 35 Shopping 48 Shopping 66 Shopping AGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE 17 Burger King 25 Free meal 35 A diamond 48 A bigger diamond 66 Home alone AGE FAVOURITE FANTASY 17 Tall, dark and handsome 25 Tall, dark and handsome, with money 35 Tall, dark and handsome, with money and a brain 48 A man with hair 66 A man AGE HOUSE PET 17 Muffy the cat 25 Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the cat 35 Irish setter and Muffy the cat 48 Children from his first marriage and Muffy the cat 66 Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs Muffy the cat AGE WHAT’S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED? 17 17 25 25 35 35 48 48 66 66 AGE IDEAL DATE 17 He offers to pay 25 He pays 35 He cooks breakfast the next morning 48 He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids 66 He can chew breakfast The Male Stages of Life AGE DRINK 17 Beer 25 Beer 35 Vodka 48 Double vodka 66 Maalox AGE SEDUCTION LINE 17 My parents are away for the weekend 25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend 35 My fiancee is away for the weekend 48 My wife is away for the weekend 66 My second wife is dead AGE FAVOURITE SPORT 17 Sex 25 Sex 35 Sex 48 Sex 66 Napping AGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE 17 Tongue 25 Breakfast 35 She didn’t set back my therapy 48 I didn’t have to meet her kids 66 Got home alive AGE FAVOURITE FANTASY 17 Getting to third base 25 Airplane sex 35 Menage a trois 48 Taking the company public 66 Swiss maid / Nazi love slave AGE HOUSE PET 17 Roaches 25 Stoned-out college roommate 35 Irish setter 48 Children from her first marriage 66 Barbi AGE WHAT’s THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED? 17 25 25 35 35 48 48 66 66 17 AGE IDEAL DATE 17 Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in 25 Split the cheque, before we go back to my place 35 Just come over 48 Just come over and cook 66 Sex in the corporate jet on the way to Vegas __________________ Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a pristine, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting "Holy Shit...what a ride!!"

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09-04-2004	#2 (permalink)
mckinzie lightweight Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Highland Village,Tx (Kinz Standard Time) Posts: 13,551	That was pretty good Bump

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