New drugs for women

[Sue]

My supervisor e-mailed me this, and I thought some of you might enjoy it, if you haven't seen it already:

D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.


ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to two days.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding
you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till
they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before
an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and
prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in
enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and
the
urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such
lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person .Can we get
naked now?.

B U Y A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency,
duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to
share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same
irritation level as nagging him.

[sctx]

Originally Posted by Sue

N A G A M E N T
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same
irritation level as nagging him.

Commercial during the footbal game last nite showed a ref totally ignoring a coach screaming and ranting in his ear, telling him how incompetent he was, and the announcer says "I don't know how can he take that ??" The next scene shows the ref at home, on the couch, with his wife yelling in his ear , telling him how worthless he is.... quite priceless IMHO

[denisea]

Originally Posted by Sue

D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

I wonder if Tyra knows they have a drug especially for her. :p

[SunKneeMarie]

Originally Posted by sctx

Commercial during the footbal game last nite showed a ref totally ignoring a coach screaming and ranting in his ear, telling him how incompetent he was, and the announcer says "I don't know how can he take that ??" The next scene shows the ref at home, on the couch, with his wife yelling in his ear , telling him how worthless he is.... quite priceless IMHO

I love that commercial... I think that was one of the ones to come out during the SuperBowl--one of my favorites actually... I'm one of those people who watch the SuperBowl for the commercials....

[Tyramania]

Originally Posted by Sue

D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

Originally Posted by denisea

I wonder if Tyra knows they have a drug especially for her. :p

Eight hours? Eight measly hours? Ha! That's probably the over-the-counter stuff. Child's play.

The "Secret, New and Improved, Super Duper, Double Strength, Time Release D A M N I T O L" is the only way to go! Be aware, that side affects may include, falling down, walking thru screen doors (another Playa embarrassing moment) and falling down, again . But, that’s not a problem for me – I have caring friends that make sure I have access to minor medical care and quality safety equipment. :p

- Tyra

[Bumper]

Finally getting to read all the threads that appeared while we were on hiatus and came across this one. Perhaps this male drug-related tidbit might be of interest.


Men’s Performance-Enhancing Drugs

With the overwhelming success of it product Viagra, the Pfizer Pharmaceutical Corporation is introducing a complete line of designer drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today’s society....

DIRECTRA:
A dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72% of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2%.

PROJECTRA:
Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before undertaking a new one.

CHILDAGRA:
Men taking this drug reported a sudden, over-whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks, especially cleaning up spills and “little accidents.”

COMPLIMENTRA:
In clinical trials, 82 percent of men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to determine if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.

BUYAGRA:
Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after taking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drugs effects can be extended to a period beyond the average store’s return policy.

NEGA-VIAGRA:
Has the opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on a former U.S. president.

NEGA-SPORTAGRA:
This drug has the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.

FLYAGRA:
This drug has shown great promise in medicating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). It has proven especially beneficial in the treatment of men on a program of Viagra therapy.

PRYAGRA:
Reportedly about to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: An apparent overdose turned three test subjects into “special prosecutors.”

LIAGRA:
This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. It will apparently be available in Regular, Grand Jury, and Presidential strength dosages.

[mckinzie]

Originally Posted by Bumper

FLYAGRA:
This drug has shown great promise in medicating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). It has proven especially beneficial in the treatment of men on a program of Viagra therapy.

I'm glad I wear button fly jeans. Mostly

Sue must be banned from posting.

[Sue]

Originally Posted by mckinzie

:
Sue must be banned from posting.

Why?

[mckinzie]

Originally Posted by Sue

Why?

Hi Sue
Glad you decide to come back to the looney bin.
We miss ya

[Sue]

Originally Posted by mckinzie

Hi Sue
Glad you decide to come back to the looney bin.
We miss ya

I was off work Friday-Monday, and then sick on Tuesday. Work is the only place I have internet access. But geez - I don't post for a few days, and you all go thinking I've been banned. Am I that bad?

[mckinzie]

Originally Posted by Sue

I was off work Friday-Monday, and then sick on Tuesday. Work is the only place I have internet access. But geez - I don't post for a few days, and you all go thinking I've been banned. Am I that bad?

No we just miss your jokes

[Sue]

Originally Posted by mckinzie

No we just miss your jokes

I don't think I can top the social worker, attorney, priest joke. That one's delicious, and I can't wait to share it with Corey!!

[mckinzie]

Originally Posted by Sue

I don't think I can top the social worker, attorney, priest joke. That one's delicious, and I can't wait to share it with Corey!!

Is Sue you real name because Corey is my real name. Imagine that

[Sue]

I'm Sue - didn't even think to mask my name when I registered. Imagine that!

[mckinzie]

Originally Posted by Sue

I'm Sue - didn't even think to mask my name when I registered. Imagine that!

Me and sctx need to come up with a nickname for ya. Maybe do a poll