It's a man thing - Page 3

TAPPY · 09-20-2004

Whew !!!! I can come out of the closet now thanks to Heather....I am a clicker

mistress to !!!!!

A remote..what a great invention......

I like to watch 6 different programs at one time !!!!

While reading the paper, talking on the phone AND checking the internet !!!!
Stogey you are not the only one who can Multi Task ! I got it down to a fine art !!! :

Men cant live with them, cant live with out them !!! :p
Mine is gone enough to make me appreciate him when he is around. It is nice to have some one take out the trash and mow the yard.

I dont mind a toliet seat being left up...I do mind a bad aim (wet floor)

**Heather** · 09-20-2004

[quote=TAPPY] It is nice to have some one take out the trash and mow the yard.

QUOTE]

Reminds me of a joke I heard:

Why did God put men on earth??

Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn!

Ha ha, just kidding guys, we LOVE you!

Critter · 09-20-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Softy57

Critter-Don't you?

Don't I what?

I leave the seat up just to get her started. She who must be obeyed also has a couple of drive me up the wall habits:

1. Finishing a sentence for me, even if she doesn't know where I am going with it.
2. Talking to me from another room, where I can hear her voice but don't have a clue what she is saying

We fixed the clicker issue (she is a click-a-holic) I like commercials, we got separate tv's in separate rooms

Lulu · 09-20-2004

Oh, I'm so anal about things like this, but my biggest problem is with him not putting something back where it goes after he uses it. Especially if where you laid it is ten inches from where it goes!!! (This applies to childr... oh yeah, nevermind.)

The toilet seat thing doesn't bother me, I've learned. In all fairness, Hubby's biggest peeve from me is that I interrupt him when he's talking and make him lose his train of thought. He hates it when I do that...

mckinzie · 09-20-2004

I'm glad I get to leave the lid up
24/7

**Bumper** · 09-20-2004

A little something from the files on "Guy Things"

BECAUSE I’M A GUY

Because I’m a guy, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I will miss an entire show while looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.

Because I’m a guy, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a wire coat hanger and ignore your suggestions we call a road service, until long after hypothermia has set in. Oh, and when the car isn’t running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I have the foggiest notion of what I’m looking at. If another guy shows up, one of us will say to the other,”I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn’t know where to start.” We will then drink beer.

Because I’m a guy, when I catch a cold, I need somebody to bring me soup and take care of me while I lay in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this isn’t an issue.

Because I’m a guy, I can be relied upon to purchase basic grocery items at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic things like “cumin” or “tofu”. For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which “feminine hygiene product” is a euphemism.

Because I’m a guy, when one of your appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence this will cost me twice as much once the professional repair person gets there and has to put it back together.

Because I’m a guy, I don’t happen to think we’re all that lost, and no, I don’t think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger - how in the heck would HE know where we’re going?

Because I’m a guy, there’s no need to ask me what I’m thinking about. The answer is invariably either sex or football, though I have to think up something else when you ask, so don’t bother.

Because I’m a guy, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come to visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I absolutely have to. Whatever you got her for Mother’s Day is okay, and I don’t need to see it, and by the way, did you remember to pick up something for my mom, too?

Because I’m a guy, I am capable of saying, “One more beer and I really have to go,” and mean it every single time I say it, even when it gets to the point that the bar closes and my buddies and I have to go hunt down another. I will find it increasingly hilarious to have my pals call you and tell you I’ll be home soon, and no, I don’t understand why you threw all my clothes into the front yard. What’s the connection?

Because I’m a guy, you don’t have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you’re crying at the end of it, I didn’t.

Because I’m a guy, yes, I have to turn up the radio when Bruce Springsteen or The Doors come on, and then, yes, I have to tell you every single time how Bruce had his picture on the cover of Time and Newsweek the same day, or how Jim Morrison is buried in Paris and everyone visits his grave. Please do not behave as if you do not find this fascinating.

Because I’m a guy, I think what you’re wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt, or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go already?

Because I’m a guy and this is, after all, the 90's, I will share equally in the housework. You do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, and the dishes. I’ll do the rest.

mckinzie · 09-20-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bumper

"
Because I’m a guy, there’s no need to ask me what I’m thinking about. The answer is invariably either sex,Playa, or football, though I have to think up something else when you ask, so don’t bother.
[.

Did I tell you that

Bumper where do you come up with this stuff.

**sctx** · 09-20-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bumper

Because I’m a guy, I think what you’re wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt, or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go already?

Those sucker questions kill me.... do they actually think we are THAT stupid ???

But then they try and throw the curve ball, low and outside

"Honey, does this dress make my ass look big???"
"Yes Dear"

STEEEEERRRRRIIIIIIIKKKKEEEEE THHHHRRRRREEEEEE !!!!!!!! (FYI, it is a one strike game)

**denisea** · 09-20-2004

Asking for directions story...

Keith and I had been living in Rochester, NY for about a year. The ad agency I worked for was having a company picnic. The picnic was being held at the house of a co-worker's parents, who owned a house on Conesus lake. One of my other co-workers was catching a ride with us. She had never met Keith before. Of course, we had been supplied directions to the house and I had them with me. As soon as we get on the road Keith informs us that the directions are wrong and that he knows the correct way to get there... mind you, my co-workers parents had owned this house since she was a little girl. I protested and we ended up in a huge argument. 45 minutes later... both of us pissed off and yelling at each other... Keith finally agrees to follow the original directions. By the time we finally arrived at the picnic, the half gallon of ice cream that my co-worker had brought along was completely liquified. Keith refused to speak to me the rest of the day, or to anyone else at the picnic.

Seakony · 09-20-2004

My hubby loves to channel surf... I think it goes back to men's testoteronal need to hunt. If I am forced to be in the same room watching the same TV then I pull out my secret weapon...another remote..and the games begin.

Why can't men put a new roll of toilet paper on the holder? Half the time they are just sitting there anyways. And turn the exhaust fan on for Gawd's sake!

TAPPY · 09-20-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seakony

Why can't men put a new roll of toilet paper on the holder? Half the time they are just sitting there anyways. And turn the exhaust fan on for Gawd's sake!

Courtesy flush

is nice to !!!!!!!!

MikeW · 09-20-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by denisea

Not a problem in my house... got my man trained properly. :p

For 17 years I've been doing good with the toilet seat. Up, down, up, down, up, down, up . . . Forgot a few weeks ago, she almost went swimming. If I hadn't been good for all those years she would have checked first.

Critter · 09-20-2004

Exactly my point, if you leave it up once a week or so, they look before they sit.

roni · 09-20-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by STOGEY

I think that women should just get over it and realize that the tv clicker is ours.

We share it pretty well here, but she watches way more television than I do

**Shammy** · 09-20-2004

I live with 4 men...5 if you count the dog. They range in age from 5 (the dog) to 78 (my dad).

While all but two of them (the dog and my dad) ALWAYS put the terlet seat down, I would LOVE if just ONE of them could pee IN it and not ON it, AROUND it, ON THE SIDE of it, ON THE LID, ON THE WALL, ON THE FLOOR, ON THE SHOWER CURTAIN...

09-20-2004	#31 (permalink)
TAPPY añejo Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Louisiana Posts: 14,945	Whew !!!! I can come out of the closet now thanks to Heather....I am a clicker mistress to !!!!! A remote..what a great invention...... I like to watch 6 different programs at one time !!!! While reading the paper, talking on the phone AND checking the internet !!!! Stogey you are not the only one who can Multi Task ! I got it down to a fine art !!! : Men cant live with them, cant live with out them !!! :p Mine is gone enough to make me appreciate him when he is around. It is nice to have some one take out the trash and mow the yard. I dont mind a toliet seat being left up...I do mind a bad aim (wet floor) Last edited by TAPPY : 09-20-2004 at 05:56 PM.

09-20-2004	#36 (permalink)
Bumper Class Clown Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Winnipeg, Canada Posts: 9,525	A little something from the files on "Guy Things" BECAUSE I’M A GUY Because I’m a guy, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I will miss an entire show while looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator. Because I’m a guy, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a wire coat hanger and ignore your suggestions we call a road service, until long after hypothermia has set in. Oh, and when the car isn’t running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I have the foggiest notion of what I’m looking at. If another guy shows up, one of us will say to the other,”I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn’t know where to start.” We will then drink beer. Because I’m a guy, when I catch a cold, I need somebody to bring me soup and take care of me while I lay in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this isn’t an issue. Because I’m a guy, I can be relied upon to purchase basic grocery items at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic things like “cumin” or “tofu”. For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which “feminine hygiene product” is a euphemism. Because I’m a guy, when one of your appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence this will cost me twice as much once the professional repair person gets there and has to put it back together. Because I’m a guy, I don’t happen to think we’re all that lost, and no, I don’t think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger - how in the heck would HE know where we’re going? Because I’m a guy, there’s no need to ask me what I’m thinking about. The answer is invariably either sex or football, though I have to think up something else when you ask, so don’t bother. Because I’m a guy, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come to visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I absolutely have to. Whatever you got her for Mother’s Day is okay, and I don’t need to see it, and by the way, did you remember to pick up something for my mom, too? Because I’m a guy, I am capable of saying, “One more beer and I really have to go,” and mean it every single time I say it, even when it gets to the point that the bar closes and my buddies and I have to go hunt down another. I will find it increasingly hilarious to have my pals call you and tell you I’ll be home soon, and no, I don’t understand why you threw all my clothes into the front yard. What’s the connection? Because I’m a guy, you don’t have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you’re crying at the end of it, I didn’t. Because I’m a guy, yes, I have to turn up the radio when Bruce Springsteen or The Doors come on, and then, yes, I have to tell you every single time how Bruce had his picture on the cover of Time and Newsweek the same day, or how Jim Morrison is buried in Paris and everyone visits his grave. Please do not behave as if you do not find this fascinating. Because I’m a guy, I think what you’re wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt, or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go already? Because I’m a guy and this is, after all, the 90's, I will share equally in the housework. You do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, and the dishes. I’ll do the rest. __________________ Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a pristine, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting "Holy Shit...what a ride!!"

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

09-20-2004	#32 (permalink)
Heather Staff Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Playa del Carmen Posts: 9,042	[quote=TAPPY] It is nice to have some one take out the trash and mow the yard. QUOTE] Reminds me of a joke I heard: Why did God put men on earth?? Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn! Ha ha, just kidding guys, we LOVE you!

09-20-2004	#34 (permalink)
Lulu añejo Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: South of Houston, TX Posts: 2,075	Oh, I'm so anal about things like this, but my biggest problem is with him not putting something back where it goes after he uses it. Especially if where you laid it is ten inches from where it goes!!! (This applies to childr... oh yeah, nevermind.) The toilet seat thing doesn't bother me, I've learned. In all fairness, Hubby's biggest peeve from me is that I interrupt him when he's talking and make him lose his train of thought. He hates it when I do that...

09-20-2004	#35 (permalink)
mckinzie lightweight Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Highland Village,Tx (Kinz Standard Time) Posts: 13,551	I'm glad I get to leave the lid up 24/7

09-20-2004	#39 (permalink)
denisea Forum Goddess Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: On the road to ruins... Posts: 7,025	Asking for directions story... Keith and I had been living in Rochester, NY for about a year. The ad agency I worked for was having a company picnic. The picnic was being held at the house of a co-worker's parents, who owned a house on Conesus lake. One of my other co-workers was catching a ride with us. She had never met Keith before. Of course, we had been supplied directions to the house and I had them with me. As soon as we get on the road Keith informs us that the directions are wrong and that he knows the correct way to get there... mind you, my co-workers parents had owned this house since she was a little girl. I protested and we ended up in a huge argument. 45 minutes later... both of us pissed off and yelling at each other... Keith finally agrees to follow the original directions. By the time we finally arrived at the picnic, the half gallon of ice cream that my co-worker had brought along was completely liquified. Keith refused to speak to me the rest of the day, or to anyone else at the picnic.

09-20-2004	#40 (permalink)
Seakony añejo Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: no longer in Mesquite with nothing to do Posts: 10,147	My hubby loves to channel surf... I think it goes back to men's testoteronal need to hunt. If I am forced to be in the same room watching the same TV then I pull out my secret weapon...another remote..and the games begin. Why can't men put a new roll of toilet paper on the holder? Half the time they are just sitting there anyways. And turn the exhaust fan on for Gawd's sake!

09-20-2004	#43 (permalink)
Critter añejo Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Cerca de Washington DC Posts: 3,343	Exactly my point, if you leave it up once a week or so, they look before they sit.

09-20-2004	#45 (permalink)
Shammy Moderator Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: The Joisey Shore Posts: 10,268	I live with 4 men...5 if you count the dog. They range in age from 5 (the dog) to 78 (my dad). While all but two of them (the dog and my dad) ALWAYS put the terlet seat down, I would LOVE if just ONE of them could pee IN it and not ON it, AROUND it, ON THE SIDE of it, ON THE LID, ON THE WALL, ON THE FLOOR, ON THE SHOWER CURTAIN...

register to remove these adverts