Political Correctness

**Bumper** · 09-27-2004

I can pretty much guarantee (or, as they say in those ads supposedly from Louisiana, "Gay-ron-tee!, eh, Tappy? though that's probably not politically correct) that there will be some items that sneak their way onto this sub-forum that will be politically incorrect. And maybe not "sneak", as some folks, myself included sometimes, think political correctness is a crock. Anyway, here's a bit of stuff on the subject.

Political Correctness

Q: What is PC?
A: PC stands for politically correct. We who subscribe to the politically correct philosophy believe in increasing a tolerance and acceptance of a diversity of culture, race, gender, ideology and alternative lifestyles. Political Correctness is the only socially and morally acceptable outlook. Anyone who disagrees with this self-evident philosophy is bigoted, biassed, sexist, and/or close-minded.

Q: Why should I be PC?
A: Being PC is fun. Pcism is not just an attitude, it is a way of life! PC offers the satisfaction of knowing that you are undoing the social evils of centuries of ignorance and oppression.

Q: I am a white male. Can I still be PC?
A: Sure. You just have to remember to constantly feel guilty.

Q: Why?
A: If you are a white male, your ancestors were responsible for practically every injustice in the world: Slavery, war, genocide and plaid sports coats. This means that YOU are partially responsible for these horrible atrocities. Now it’s time to balance the scales of justice in favour of those descendants whose ancestors were repressed by your guilty predecessors.

Q: How?
A: It’s simple. You merely have to be careful of what you say, what you think, and what you do. You just want to avoid offending anyone.

Q: You mean I should guard against affronting anyone?
A: That’s right. Being offensive is destructive, and will not contribute to making the world the harmonious utopia it could be, like in John Lennon’s Imagine.

Q: How else can I be PC?
A: Oh, there are lots of ways. For example, Why but regular ice cream when you can buy “Rain Forest Crunch?” Segrega...oops...separate all of your garbage into individual containers: glass, metal, white paper, blue paper, plastic, etc. Make sure that all your make-up has not been tested on animals. Try to find out at least sixty ways to use your waste water, like when you take a shower, brush your teeth at the same time. Then don’t let the water wastefully go down the drain, but use it to irrigate your lawn. Or better yet, replace your lawn with an organic vegetable garden. Don’t use aerosols. If you are fortunate enough to know your ethnic heritage, dress the part! Don’t do drugs. You should listen to at least one of the following PC musicians: U2, REM, Sinead O’Connor, Sting, or KD Lang. Harass people who wear fur coats. Remind them that an innocent baby seal was brutally clubbed to provide them with that garment. Or just yell “FUR”, they hate that! And don’t EVER eat meat.

Q: Don’t eat meat? Why not?
A: Cows are animals, just like humans are animals. That means they have rights. When you eat meat, you are persecuting animals!

Q: So all killing is bad?
A: No, not always. Sometimes killing can be justified, like in the Persian Gulf, or Afghanistan, or Iraq. You have to be able to tell when an animal has rights, and when it doesn’t.

Q: So how do I know when an animal has rights?
A: In the majority of cases, you may apply the following general rule:

If an animal is rare, pretty, big, cute, furry, huggable, or loveable, then it probably has rights. The following may prove helpful:

Rights - Cows No Rights - Cockroaches
Rights - Bunny rabbits No Rights - Flies
Rights - Dolphins in tuna nets No Rights - Tuna in tuna salad sandwiches
Rights - Whales No Rights - Sharks
Rights - red Squirrels No Rights - Gray squirrels
Rights - Owls No Rights - Loggers
Rights - Harbour seals No Rights - Barnacles

Q: Wow! What else can I do to be PC?
A: Hug a tree. Rejoice each day in our cultural differences, for they are what gives a flavour to our great nation. Get in touch with your sexual identity. Check your refrigerator for freon leaks. Subscribe to National Geographic. Search each issue for non-Western cultural traditions and costumes. After you’ve read it, use the magazine as an alternative energy source.

Q: I’m not sure about all this.
A: If you are doubtful of your motivation, just remember...YOU ARE RIGHT. It’s that simple...YOU ARE RIGHT!

Q: How do I know if an action is UN-PC?
A: Good question. It’s critical to recognize when someone is saying something insensitive so that we may have that person removed from society. The most widely-accepted guideline is as follows:

Is the confrontation between two white people?
Yes ➔ The liberal is right
No ➔ The white person is oppressing the ethnic person

Remember, many seemingly obvious issues, such as the railroading of Washington Mayor Marion Barry, the Justice Clarence Thomas situation and the St. Mary’s University Caribbean Society shut-down are really racially motivated issues. Here’s a fun drill for you to try. See how many newspaper articles you can make into racially biased stories. It’s fun! Some Pcers have become so adept that they can make a used car ad look like a KKK recruitment pamphlet.

Q: What should I do if I see someone do something NON- PC?
A: It all depends on the situation. If you are not in a position of authority, by all means report the activity immediately to whoever is in charge. If your school leader, employer, or supervisor is hip to the trend of the 90's, she or he will take the necessary steps to have the thoughtless offender disciplined.

Q: But isn’t that censorship?
A: The Charter of Rights and Liberties never meant for racism, sexism, and insensitivity to be espoused by anyone. That’s not what free speech is about. Some call it censorship. Pcers call it “selective” speech. Saying somethind negative about a particular race or gender is just as potentially damaging as, say, punching them in the face. We just can’t tolerate that kind of verbal assault.

Q: I’ve heard a lot about PC words to replace “Black” and “Indian” etc.
A: That’s part of the PC movement. You see, part of the way we think about people comes directly from the words we use to describe them. Take “black” for instance. Why should a person be judged or described by the colour of their skin?

Q: You mean they should rather be judged by the content of their character?
A: No, I mean they should be judged by where their ancestors came from. If your great grandparents were from Africa, or Asia, or wherever, then you should be identified by that fact. You may even be able to apply for special scholarships, grants or allowances.

Q: I’m a mixture of French, German, English, and Russian. Can I get in on some of these programs?
A: No, there are none available to white males. However, if you would like to become a woman...oops...womyn, or African-Canadian, there should be plenty of opportunities for you.

Q: Hey, wouldn’t a Caucasian person from Libya or Egypt technically be an African-Canadian?
A: Technically, yes. But that’s not the kind of African-Canadian we mean. That is, we’re REALLY talking about skin colour, but we’re pretending that we aren’t. For example, a white South-African immigrant is not an African-Canadian either.

Q: How can I learn how to make my vocabulary more PC?
A: For more help, see the PC Lexicon at the end of this handbook.

Q: I’d like my child to be PC, what can I do?
A: Well for one thing, we should forcibly encourage students to volunteer their time with philanthropies. Also, we should re-emphasis on-Western perspectives on history. Finally, we should restructure tests and quizzes to reflect cultural biases.

Q: I don’t get it?
A: Well, the way the system works now, “select” under-represented minorities who tend to do worse on entrance examinations have lower rates of admission to institutions of higher learning, and consistently underperform the average standard. This is a blatant example of discriminatory systemic abuse.

Q:It is?
A: Yes. The truly PC way to do it is to have different grading scales for different groups, which either gives or subtracts points to the final score, depending on who is taking the entrance examination. If you are white, then you have unfairly benefited from your position in society during your life. That means you should be penalized ten to fifteen points from your distorted score in order to make the test fair to everyone else.

Q: I guess that sounds right.
A: It IS right. That’s the beauty of PC.

Q: What else do I have to be careful of?
A: Humour. PC people take every comment VERY seriously. We will not accept any comment, joke, remark or expression that even vaguely sounds like it might be construed as a racial slur.

Q: Give me an example.
A: “What’s black and white and red all over?” has been a staple of humour for decades. Not PC....it can be taken the wrong way. In every day speech, try to use phrases like, “Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle African-Canadian.” Any racial joke or jest that even mentions culture or gender should be avoided. While it’s true this pretty much limits comedy to the level of inane sitcoms, that’s the price we all have to pay for social equality.

Q: Is that all there is to it?
A: Yes. The Politically Correct belief is essentially a recognition that mankind is diversely equal. We rejoice in this equality by treating people differently based on their equal individuality. Hop aboard the bandwagon...be PC. Or you’re an intolerant, prejudiced, racist, narrow-minded, sexist, insensitive pig.

TAPPY · 09-27-2004

I love it !!!! this is one I have not seen before !!!!

"Gay-ron-tee"

Justin Wilson......may he rest in peace...

The cajun grandpa who could cook with a little of this and a little of that, add a little bit of wine :p .....as long as it had some wine in it, it was correct !!!!

And nothing from the state of Louisiana (think Huey Long and Edwin Edwards) is ever politcally correct !!!!

09-27-2004	#1 (permalink)
Bumper Class Clown Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Winnipeg, Canada Posts: 11,463	Political Correctness I can pretty much guarantee (or, as they say in those ads supposedly from Louisiana, "Gay-ron-tee!, eh, Tappy? though that's probably not politically correct) that there will be some items that sneak their way onto this sub-forum that will be politically incorrect. And maybe not "sneak", as some folks, myself included sometimes, think political correctness is a crock. Anyway, here's a bit of stuff on the subject. Political Correctness Q: What is PC? A: PC stands for politically correct. We who subscribe to the politically correct philosophy believe in increasing a tolerance and acceptance of a diversity of culture, race, gender, ideology and alternative lifestyles. Political Correctness is the only socially and morally acceptable outlook. Anyone who disagrees with this self-evident philosophy is bigoted, biassed, sexist, and/or close-minded. Q: Why should I be PC? A: Being PC is fun. Pcism is not just an attitude, it is a way of life! PC offers the satisfaction of knowing that you are undoing the social evils of centuries of ignorance and oppression. Q: I am a white male. Can I still be PC? A: Sure. You just have to remember to constantly feel guilty. Q: Why? A: If you are a white male, your ancestors were responsible for practically every injustice in the world: Slavery, war, genocide and plaid sports coats. This means that YOU are partially responsible for these horrible atrocities. Now it’s time to balance the scales of justice in favour of those descendants whose ancestors were repressed by your guilty predecessors. Q: How? A: It’s simple. You merely have to be careful of what you say, what you think, and what you do. You just want to avoid offending anyone. Q: You mean I should guard against affronting anyone? A: That’s right. Being offensive is destructive, and will not contribute to making the world the harmonious utopia it could be, like in John Lennon’s Imagine. Q: How else can I be PC? A: Oh, there are lots of ways. For example, Why but regular ice cream when you can buy “Rain Forest Crunch?” Segrega...oops...separate all of your garbage into individual containers: glass, metal, white paper, blue paper, plastic, etc. Make sure that all your make-up has not been tested on animals. Try to find out at least sixty ways to use your waste water, like when you take a shower, brush your teeth at the same time. Then don’t let the water wastefully go down the drain, but use it to irrigate your lawn. Or better yet, replace your lawn with an organic vegetable garden. Don’t use aerosols. If you are fortunate enough to know your ethnic heritage, dress the part! Don’t do drugs. You should listen to at least one of the following PC musicians: U2, REM, Sinead O’Connor, Sting, or KD Lang. Harass people who wear fur coats. Remind them that an innocent baby seal was brutally clubbed to provide them with that garment. Or just yell “FUR”, they hate that! And don’t EVER eat meat. Q: Don’t eat meat? Why not? A: Cows are animals, just like humans are animals. That means they have rights. When you eat meat, you are persecuting animals! Q: So all killing is bad? A: No, not always. Sometimes killing can be justified, like in the Persian Gulf, or Afghanistan, or Iraq. You have to be able to tell when an animal has rights, and when it doesn’t. Q: So how do I know when an animal has rights? A: In the majority of cases, you may apply the following general rule: If an animal is rare, pretty, big, cute, furry, huggable, or loveable, then it probably has rights. The following may prove helpful: Rights - Cows No Rights - Cockroaches Rights - Bunny rabbits No Rights - Flies Rights - Dolphins in tuna nets No Rights - Tuna in tuna salad sandwiches Rights - Whales No Rights - Sharks Rights - red Squirrels No Rights - Gray squirrels Rights - Owls No Rights - Loggers Rights - Harbour seals No Rights - Barnacles Q: Wow! What else can I do to be PC? A: Hug a tree. Rejoice each day in our cultural differences, for they are what gives a flavour to our great nation. Get in touch with your sexual identity. Check your refrigerator for freon leaks. Subscribe to National Geographic. Search each issue for non-Western cultural traditions and costumes. After you’ve read it, use the magazine as an alternative energy source. Q: I’m not sure about all this. A: If you are doubtful of your motivation, just remember...YOU ARE RIGHT. It’s that simple...YOU ARE RIGHT! Q: How do I know if an action is UN-PC? A: Good question. It’s critical to recognize when someone is saying something insensitive so that we may have that person removed from society. The most widely-accepted guideline is as follows: Is the confrontation between two white people? Yes ➔ The liberal is right No ➔ The white person is oppressing the ethnic person Remember, many seemingly obvious issues, such as the railroading of Washington Mayor Marion Barry, the Justice Clarence Thomas situation and the St. Mary’s University Caribbean Society shut-down are really racially motivated issues. Here’s a fun drill for you to try. See how many newspaper articles you can make into racially biased stories. It’s fun! Some Pcers have become so adept that they can make a used car ad look like a KKK recruitment pamphlet. Q: What should I do if I see someone do something NON- PC? A: It all depends on the situation. If you are not in a position of authority, by all means report the activity immediately to whoever is in charge. If your school leader, employer, or supervisor is hip to the trend of the 90's, she or he will take the necessary steps to have the thoughtless offender disciplined. Q: But isn’t that censorship? A: The Charter of Rights and Liberties never meant for racism, sexism, and insensitivity to be espoused by anyone. That’s not what free speech is about. Some call it censorship. Pcers call it “selective” speech. Saying somethind negative about a particular race or gender is just as potentially damaging as, say, punching them in the face. We just can’t tolerate that kind of verbal assault. Q: I’ve heard a lot about PC words to replace “Black” and “Indian” etc. A: That’s part of the PC movement. You see, part of the way we think about people comes directly from the words we use to describe them. Take “black” for instance. Why should a person be judged or described by the colour of their skin? Q: You mean they should rather be judged by the content of their character? A: No, I mean they should be judged by where their ancestors came from. If your great grandparents were from Africa, or Asia, or wherever, then you should be identified by that fact. You may even be able to apply for special scholarships, grants or allowances. Q: I’m a mixture of French, German, English, and Russian. Can I get in on some of these programs? A: No, there are none available to white males. However, if you would like to become a woman...oops...womyn, or African-Canadian, there should be plenty of opportunities for you. Q: Hey, wouldn’t a Caucasian person from Libya or Egypt technically be an African-Canadian? A: Technically, yes. But that’s not the kind of African-Canadian we mean. That is, we’re REALLY talking about skin colour, but we’re pretending that we aren’t. For example, a white South-African immigrant is not an African-Canadian either. Q: How can I learn how to make my vocabulary more PC? A: For more help, see the PC Lexicon at the end of this handbook. Q: I’d like my child to be PC, what can I do? A: Well for one thing, we should forcibly encourage students to volunteer their time with philanthropies. Also, we should re-emphasis on-Western perspectives on history. Finally, we should restructure tests and quizzes to reflect cultural biases. Q: I don’t get it? A: Well, the way the system works now, “select” under-represented minorities who tend to do worse on entrance examinations have lower rates of admission to institutions of higher learning, and consistently underperform the average standard. This is a blatant example of discriminatory systemic abuse. Q:It is? A: Yes. The truly PC way to do it is to have different grading scales for different groups, which either gives or subtracts points to the final score, depending on who is taking the entrance examination. If you are white, then you have unfairly benefited from your position in society during your life. That means you should be penalized ten to fifteen points from your distorted score in order to make the test fair to everyone else. Q: I guess that sounds right. A: It IS right. That’s the beauty of PC. Q: What else do I have to be careful of? A: Humour. PC people take every comment VERY seriously. We will not accept any comment, joke, remark or expression that even vaguely sounds like it might be construed as a racial slur. Q: Give me an example. A: “What’s black and white and red all over?” has been a staple of humour for decades. Not PC....it can be taken the wrong way. In every day speech, try to use phrases like, “Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle African-Canadian.” Any racial joke or jest that even mentions culture or gender should be avoided. While it’s true this pretty much limits comedy to the level of inane sitcoms, that’s the price we all have to pay for social equality. Q: Is that all there is to it? A: Yes. The Politically Correct belief is essentially a recognition that mankind is diversely equal. We rejoice in this equality by treating people differently based on their equal individuality. Hop aboard the bandwagon...be PC. Or you’re an intolerant, prejudiced, racist, narrow-minded, sexist, insensitive pig. __________________ Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a pristine, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting "Holy Shit...what a ride!!"

09-27-2004	#2 (permalink)
TAPPY añejo Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Louisiana Posts: 16,898	I love it !!!! this is one I have not seen before !!!! "Gay-ron-tee" Justin Wilson......may he rest in peace... The cajun grandpa who could cook with a little of this and a little of that, add a little bit of wine :p .....as long as it had some wine in it, it was correct !!!! And nothing from the state of Louisiana (think Huey Long and Edwin Edwards) is ever politcally correct !!!! Last edited by TAPPY; 09-27-2004 at 08:04 PM..

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