72, eh Squish? I
LOVE older women. They don't tell, they don't swell, and they're grateful as Hell. I rather suspect you can relate to the following from the archives...
Have you ever noticed....
That when you’re of a certain age, everything seems uphill from where you are? Stairs are steeper. Groceries are heavier.
And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street has become!
And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones.
They speak in whispers all the time. If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they’re red in the face. What do they think I am, a lip reader?
I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she had aged so much that she didn’t even recognize me.
I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection....
Well, REALLY NOW....even mirrors aren’t made the way they used to be!
Another thing, everybody drives so fast today! You’re risking life and limb if you just happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.
And clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why would they suddenly start labelling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?
The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same sort of prank, but in reverse. Do they think I would actually believe the number I see on that dial? HA!! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they’re fooling?
I’d like to call up someone in authority to report what’s going on - but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they’ve printed the phone books in such small print that no one could ever find a number in here!
All I can do is pass along this warning: Maturity is under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.
PLEASE PASS THIS WARNING ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
PS: I’m printing this in a larger font size, because something has caused fonts to be smaller than they used to be too!
Happy Birthday, Squish, M'Love, from both of us.
