Families Defined

**Bumper** · 09-28-2004

Families Defined

GRANDFATHER - A man whose daughter once married someone who was vastly her inferior intellectually, but subsequently gave birth to unbelievably brilliant grandchildren.

GRANDMOTHER - A baby-sitter who doesn’t hang around the refrigerator.

FATHER - Someone who has exchanged all the money in his wallet for snapshots.

MOTHER - The person that feeds the mouth that bites her.

AUNT - The only person who would have made a better mother than your mother.

UNCLE - A relative who only seems to like you when he needs something done for him.

SON - The result of getting what you thought you wanted.

DAUGHTER - The person who dad likes because she reminds him of why he married his wife, and who mother is afraid of because she reminds her of why her husband married her.

COUSIN - The relative most likely to be responsible for your problems.

MOTHER-IN-LAW - A ready and eager source of all knowledge, especially advice, history, and judgements.

FATHER-IN-LAW - The fellow who is happy to have paid for the wedding, because now his wife has another man to harass.

jtm1631 · 09-29-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bumper

Families Defined

FATHER-IN-LAW - The fellow who is happy to have paid for the wedding, because now his wife has another man to harass.

You have no idea how true this one is.

**Heather** · 09-30-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bumper

Families Defined

AUNT - The only person who would have made a better mother than your mother.

This is so true, and why I will never have kids of my own to test the theory; my niece and nephew think I am just the greatest.

**denisea** · 09-30-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bumper

MOTHER-IN-LAW - A ready and eager source of all knowledge, especially advice, history, and judgements.

Provided to you unsolicited whether you like it or not... don't even get me started on this subject... I think I need a shot of tequila now.

09-28-2004	#1 (permalink)
Bumper Class Clown Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Winnipeg, Canada Posts: 9,696	Families Defined Families Defined GRANDFATHER - A man whose daughter once married someone who was vastly her inferior intellectually, but subsequently gave birth to unbelievably brilliant grandchildren. GRANDMOTHER - A baby-sitter who doesn’t hang around the refrigerator. FATHER - Someone who has exchanged all the money in his wallet for snapshots. MOTHER - The person that feeds the mouth that bites her. AUNT - The only person who would have made a better mother than your mother. UNCLE - A relative who only seems to like you when he needs something done for him. SON - The result of getting what you thought you wanted. DAUGHTER - The person who dad likes because she reminds him of why he married his wife, and who mother is afraid of because she reminds her of why her husband married her. COUSIN - The relative most likely to be responsible for your problems. MOTHER-IN-LAW - A ready and eager source of all knowledge, especially advice, history, and judgements. FATHER-IN-LAW - The fellow who is happy to have paid for the wedding, because now his wife has another man to harass.

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